Halloween Scene: Tales From The Darkside

tales-from-the-darkside-the-movieEarly this month I worked on a list for CBR that might eventually get published about the best classic horror movies to stream on Netflix and Amazon Prime. That lead to me watching Tales From The Darkside: The Movie for the first time and I think it’s up there with Body Bags as one of my all-time favorite horror anthology films!

That got me thinking about the George A. Romero-produced TV series than ran for four seasons from 1984-1988. Basically, a new take on the Twilight Zone/EC Comics, these half hour episodes offer a variety modern horrors many of which (at least in the first two discs) revolve around then-new technology like word processors, answering machines and multiple phone lines. Continue reading Halloween Scene: Tales From The Darkside

Halloween Scene: The Inhuman Condition by Clive Barker (1987)

the-inhuman-condition-clive-barkerI might be a longtime horror fan, but that doesn’t mean I’m fearless when it comes to this stuff. I shy away from plenty of subjects and subgenres that make me uncomfortable. For a while, Cliver Barker’s work has fit into that category. I’ve seen Hellraiser and Nigthbreed and maybe a few other adaptations of his work, but the sheet hopeless darkness of them just didn’t fit with what I wanted to see at the time.

And then a few of his books popped up on the free table at my local library and I figured it was time to embrace my fear and dive in. I decided to start with the short story book The Inhuman Condition which was published in 1987. I was blown away by this book, initially thinking it wasn’t as dark as I assumed it would be and then realizing Barker saved the harshest story for last. Continue reading Halloween Scene: The Inhuman Condition by Clive Barker (1987)

Halloween Scene: Stranger Things & The Like

stranger-things-posterHey, look, it’s nearly October and I’ve already watched a bunch of great stuff! Like the rest of the world, I fell in love with Stranger Things and even wrote a list for CBR about a dozen other movies and shows you should check out if you liked it as much as me. Regular readers won’t be surprised by how much I responded to the idea of a bunch of kids trying to stop something far beyond their natural abilities. Plus, it gave me a great reason to re-watch the likes of The Gate and Cloak & Dagger. Continue reading Halloween Scene: Stranger Things & The Like

Riding With The King: Dolores Claiborne (1992)

dolores claiborneRight after not being super into The Gunslinger, I dove into Dolores Claiborne and basically tore through it as quickly as I could. I wasn’t sure if that would be the case when I read a little bit about the book and realized there were exactly no page or chapter breaks because it’s one woman’s account of the tragedies and triumphs of her life. Continue reading Riding With The King: Dolores Claiborne (1992)

Toy Commercial Tuesday: Boglins!

I find myself continually fascinated by the 1980s trend of selling scary things to children. I missed a lot of that, but even as a kid I loved Gremlins which begat movies like Ghoulies, Critters and the Troll films. The Mattel-distributed Boglins toys are also part of that mini-monster lineage. The toys themselves were creepy puppets that allowed you to manipulated their mouths and eyes. From the looks of this amazing commercial, they were ready for the big screen and probably looked better than some of the Gremlins clones out in the world around this time.

I don’t specifically remember Boglins from my childhood, but do remember walking into the research office when I worked at Wizard and seeing one of them lying on a makeshift end table created from piles of longboxes next to my boss’s desk. The ToyFare guys were doing a retro toy feature on the line and this was the one being shot for art purposes. I bet I have that issue sitting around somewhere in my garage. If I ever find it, I’ll scan it and post it here on the blog!

Buffy Season 8 Trade Post: Volumes 1 Through 8 & Fray

buffy season 8 volume 1 the long way home

It’s vampire week here on UnitedMonkee! Let’s kick things off with one of their all-time biggest enemies, Buffy The Vampire Slayer! Like most of the internet, I loved the series (yes, even the first season). Even so, when Dark Horse first announced they were continuing the show’s adventures with Season 8, I was a bit skeptical, even though series creator Joss Whedon was acting as executive producer of the whole thing. See, back in the day, I bought a ton of Buffy comics from Dark Horse until I realized that they were just kind of filling in holes and playing with the mostly un-chronicled summers. Later on I picked up the Buffy Omnibus volumes and read in the intro that that was part of the whole deal because they didn’t want the comics to step on the toes of the show. As a reader, though, I got a bit bored reading about Season Three characters when Season Four was in full swing, but that’s old water under an old, far more crankier bridge.

The timing thing was obviously no longer an issue with the show being off the air. And, adding to the “good” column, Whedon would have an unlimited budget to work with and some of the best names in comics, TV and film like Brian K. Vaughan, Brad Meltzer, Georges Jeanty, Drew Goddard, Jane Espenson and Karl Moline.

Really, there was no chance I wasn’t going to start reading this book because I was working at Wizard at the time and free comics were everywhere. Like my fellow Buffy fans in the office, we got to reading and really enjoyed it. I might have been a little taken aback by the whole idea of this army of Slayers working around the world S.H.I.E.L.D.-style, but once I got used to it, I was all in. Continue reading Buffy Season 8 Trade Post: Volumes 1 Through 8 & Fray

Halloween Scene: The Burning (1981), The Mist (2007) & From Beyond (1986)

The Burning Scream Factory Halloween’s the best you guys! I’ve been able to watch more horror flicks than I expected considering our toddler staked her claim on the TV long ago. Still, I’ve been able to go back and watch some old favorites and also check out a few new films like the amazing Sinister.

A few weeks back, after earning a few extra bucks at NYCC, I decided to splurge on some Scream Factory Blu-rays. I snagged The Burning and From Beyond on sale. A subdivision of Shout Factory, Scream is a horror centric imprint that goes all out when it comes to special features, extras and great looking transfers. Continue reading Halloween Scene: The Burning (1981), The Mist (2007) & From Beyond (1986)

Halloween Scene: Ghoulies III, Ghoulies Go To College (1991)

A few months back my pal Rickey told me about this amazing 8 movie, 2-disc set from Lionsgate that includes Chopping Mall, Ghoulies Go To College, 976-EVIL 2, C.H.U.D. II, Slaughter High, Waxwork, The Unholy and Class of 1999. I love Chopping Mall and have seen Class of 1999, so after failing to find a copy at my local Walmart and Kmart I went to ebay and picked up a copy myself. I haven’t fully utilized it this October, but I did pop on Ghoulies 3 and had a fantastic time watching this flick. By the way, you can get this set for under $5 right now on Amazon, which is definitely less than I paid.

As regular readers surely know by now, I’m a big fan of goofy horror movies and 80s/90s high school and college movies. Ghoulies Go To College is actually a really great synthesis of the two, kind of like a cross between something like Critters and a less serious Revenge of the Nerds. The movie follows a trio of Ghoulies who get brought back to our plane of existence thanks to a comic book read by an angry professor. Said professor is sick of the prank war going on between two fraternities and it just so happens that the Ghoulies’ brand of murderous mayhem fits in well with the war being waged. I have to say, I thought this was a pretty brilliant way to have the Ghoulies’ actions be seen and experienced without directly pointing to them.

I put this movie on expecting almost nothing and walking away really surprised and even a little impressed. The puppetry in this movie is surprisingly good. You’d think by the third installment of a film that hadn’t been released in the US on DVD until this set would have some pretty awful special effects, but there seems to be either a fair amount of money behind this production or some really creative uses of what money they had. You also get the added bonus of the three main Ghoulies being pretty funny. They spend a good deal of the movie dressed up like late 80s/early 90s college kids which made me chuckle every time. They also talk, which can be kind of annoying, but they get a few good ones in here and there. Plus, this happens:

So, yes, this is two great tastes that taste great together for me, delivering on what I hoped to get from Welcome To Spring Break. It’s definitely goofy, but balances out the horror with the college stuff to deliver a fun little movie that probably deserves a more impressive release than this one.

Halloween Scene: Critters 2 (1988)

Most of my experience with the Critters franchise comes from seeing the boxes of the four films at the video store as a kid and thinking they looked pretty damn creepy. All fur, red eyes and teeth, how could they not be? Well, the films I’ve seen so far — the first one a few years back and now the sequel — do a pretty good job of making the Krites seem not so creepy.

The Critters movies are odd. They’re obviously Gremlins rip-offs, but instead of just borrowing the basic premise and getting on with it, these mini monsters are aliens who are hunted down by intergalactic, shape shifting bounty hunters. Sounds pretty cool, right? Well, it is and as I said when I reviewed the first film, the sci-fi stuff is actually pretty well done. What keeps these movies from being great and unique is the goofy tone that undercuts the horror and doesn’t seem to achieve the right balance. It works in something like Shaun of the Dead where you go from jokey moments to full on gore, but the structure and direction isn’t here. I’m guessing, though, that it wasn’t intended to be a great film or rival the amazing Gremlins in story, so they just kind of went with it.

The story revolves around the kid from the first one returning to his home town of Grover’s Bend a few years after the events of the first one. He gets there just in time for a batch of Krite eggs to start hatching. The bounty hunters from the first one also return to destroy the eggs — which the townspeople have painted for Easter — and shenanigans ensue.

At the end of the day, the results aren’t bad, they just don’t match up with the story I created in my head after seeing the box. That said, there are still some pretty solid gore scenes and a good deal of the little buggers get smashed, blown up, set on fire and stepped on, so that’s fun. I should also note, while the film doesn’t take itself too seriously, the creature effects actually do look pretty great. This isn’t just little people in funny robes like Troll 2, but actual puppets doing all kinds of things.

And that’s really the key to this movie, fun. It doesn’t take itself so serious and it comes across. Critters isn’t what I would call required watching for a horror fan by any means, but they’re with checking out with some friends and some beers (man, a lot of my reviews end like that, don’t they?).

Halloween Scene: Best Worst Movie (2009)

Wow, you guys. I’ve been hearing about Best Worst Movie for a while now. It’s a documentary that catches up with the cast and crew behind Troll 2, which I have seen and, while it is bad and nonsensical, is not the worst movie I have ever seen. Anyway, I’ve heard things here and there about this doc, about how it catches up with everyone and shows them the huge fan following this movie has accrued over the years. With that little bit of knowledge, I kind of assumed it would be a kind of uplifting thing, along the lines of “Hey, we made this thing that seems bad but people have really embraced.” And that’s part of it, but there’s even more. Very honestly, this movie is an emotional roller coaster in the same vein as the amazing King Of Kong.

So, the description I had in mind is pretty correct for maybe half of the movie. Then it gets into the realness of the situation. As a fan of bad movies, I understand that mentality. We like laughing earnestly made things that turned out pretty crappy. It’s the same thing as my current favorite podcast How Did This Get Made? But, there’s a dark side to that, of course. Most directors, actors and crew members don’t go into a movie saying “Let’s make something laughably silly.” They go in wanting to make something good or to create something that will be a stepping stone to something bigger and better. Being in a movie like Troll 2 might get you a line at a Horror Hound convention in Cincinnati, but it’s the kiss of death if you’re looking to move on to something bigger and better (unless of course you’re George Clooney or Jennifer Aniston).

That other side of the coin gets its own spotlight in the doc and it honestly made my stomach hurt. And I’m not even referring to the people who still hang on to the possibility of acting (the mom) or the ones looking back at their careers thinking they could have done more (Grandpa Seth), though their scenes made me sad for another reason I’ll get to in a minute. The director of Troll 2, Claudio Fragasso has zero sense of humor when it comes to his work. This man talks very deeply about the sharing of human emotion and, at the end of the movie, very awkwardly interrupts a screening where the actors are joking around about not being able to understand him and not understanding the script. This man was clearly passionate about the project and (maybe) liked the finished project. He does not have a sense of humor about any of this. I feel bad for him.

Back to the mom and Grandpa Seth, oh man, I felt so bad for them too. Grandpa Seth sits on his easy chair surrounded by Hoarders-level stacks of books or magazines or something and explains that he would have liked to act more, but didn’t want to move to LA. He then goes on about how he wished his career had been different, but it’s all topped by the very end of the movie where they’re catching everyone up on these folks and all it says is that he’s retired and likes Family Guy. What? Really?! That’s a life? Ugh. Meanwhile the mom from the movie has one scene where she talks about getting back into acting, presumably after her elderly mother passes away (it’s not directly said, but that’s how I took it) and saying that she just wants to run away to a completely different places with different neighbors who don’t make the kind of high pitches sounds that would make Lloyd and Harry would get annoyed at. These two got to me because they either are still holding on to or held on too long to the dream of being an actor. These are the kinds of things that get to me, being a wannabe writer of fiction. How long do you hold on to lofty dreams? When is it time to just say “Nope, not gonna happen, I don’t have it in me” or “The cards are not being dealt in my favor”? Oh man, too close to home as I’m nearing my 29th birthday.

But, thankfully, there are less sad parts and people in this movie. The young boy from the movie is the one spearheading the documentary. He embraces the whole thing in the same way fans of bad movies do, but it’s because he has already processed the feelings of embarrassment and career-dread unlike some of the others. He makes a great touchstone, but the real star of the film is the dad, George Hardy. George is a dentist and one of the nicest guys around. He’s cool with the film’s legacy, for the most part. But, even he has a a few dark moments in the film, both of which revolve around conventions. The first has almost no people coming to a screening of Troll 2 and the second is a big horror show that leaves him with the impression that the attendees are weird, some of his fellow attendees are desperate losers and director Neil Marshall is kind of a jerk. Now, all of those things may be true (I have no idea, I’ve never been to a horror convention), but seeing the main “I’m okay with my life” person in the movie go down that path is a bummer. That’s life though, we all have our bad moments. I got the impression that George was very excited to embrace this underground fandom at first, but got bored with it very quickly. He saw the movie 20 times and doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would like movies ironically and he even says he doesn’t like horror flicks, so what’s the appeal for him? I’m guessing that “I want to be famous” spark that still lies inside him from his days of wanting to be an actor.

What makes this movie so interesting, aside from the various perspectives that one film can create in its audience and crew, is how it showcases so many different aspects of humanity and the desire for fame. Some people in Troll 2 went on to make their own movies while others gave up and went into other fields. There really is a lot to unpack in this film, far more than the “It’s so bad it’s good” fans might want, actually. This isn’t an obsessed fan’s love letter to the film, more like a document of how one film has changed the lives of many. I liked it a lot, but I’m not sure if I’ll watch it again. Sometimes things just get too real.