Commercial Commentary: This Lady’s In All The Commercials

I don’t watch nearly as much TV as I used to and yet I still find myself recognizing the same actors and actresses in commercials over and over again. One woman happens to appear in roughly half the ads on TV and her name is Melanie Paxson/Melanie Deanne Moore. Here’s a sample of her work.

She’s also in a Fiber One bar commercial right now that’s actually pretty funny, but doesn’t seem to be posted on YouTube. It’s the one where the husband finds out his wife has been passing Fiber One bars off as her own baking. She was also on the show Cupid in the late 90s which I really liked, but don’t particularly remember her from as well as a lot of other parts. Next up? The guy in the ski cap with the long hair and beard, I just have to remember what else he’s in…

 

 

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Christmas Stories: Why Is Best Buy Being So Mean To Santa?

Seriously, who thought getting mean ladies to pick on Santa Claus, the bringer of joy to millions, would make for a great ad campaign this holiday season. I get that they’re trying to be funny and there’s nothing wrong with the concept itself, but when you’re trying to get laughs off of one of the most popular icons of the past century while also trying to make money off of the holiday he is associated with, it just feels off.

Am I off on this one? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not offended, I just think these commercials are annoying and a little mean-spirited. Though, considering how people act on Black Friday and in pretty much every mall parking lot from the end of November until the third week of January, maybe that’s fitting.

Commercial Commentary: Worst Person Ever

Sorry about the double dose of Commercial Commentaries, but I had a few problems with posts not saving or going up when they were supposed to, plus who wants to blog over the weekend? Anyway, the woman in this AT&T commercial is such a harpie that it honestly makes me angry and even a little uncomfortable every time I see it. She’s so awful, that the only thing that could redeem her in this commercial if something cartoonishly awful happened to her, like an anvil fell on her head or something. As it is, this little man’s small victory isn’t nearly enough to surmount the awfulness that his life must be. Who thought this would make a good commercial?!

Commercial Commentary: Missing Line From This Hanes Sock Commercial

I really like this commercial. It’s funny, quick and most importantly, doesn’t annoy in any way. Well, it didn’t. See, for some reason, the version I’ve seen on TV the past few days has cut out the little boy’s “Sick of it!” line. I can’t really fathom what was behind this change. It’s probably the funniest bit of the commercial and it’s not there anymore. Color me outraged for the moment (and whenever else I see this ad in the next few days before moving onto something else to needlessly obsess over).

Commercial Commentary: These Febreeze Commercials Are Terrifying

You’ve probably seen at least one of the Febreeze “Breathe Happy” commercials. The idea is that people are taken off the street, blindfolded and then placed in a pretty disgusting looking room where they either stand around or sit, breathing in the air. They think it smells great because of the Febreeze being pumped out, then take their masks off to reveal the grossness they’re surrounded by. Cute idea right?

No, no it’s not. First off, I understand that this isn’t the way normal people think, but people who have seen an inordinate amount of horror movies would pull the blindfold off and instantly think they had fallen into a murder trap. If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, a murder trap is when crazy killers lure innocent victims to their murder houses under false pretenses. For instance “Hey wanna smell this room for us?” Like Admirable Ackbar would say “It’s a trap.”

Sure, you could try to explain to me that this isn’t really a murder house or that you’re shooting a commercial, but I’d probably already halfway out the window expecting Leatherface to be on my heels. You can see a little bit of that “Oh, I’m going to die” look on the blonde girl’s face at the end of the second video up there. There’s a real worry on her face that you can feel. All it would take is one nut to really think he or she’s in trouble for this to go from “that cute Febreeze” commercial to “the one that guy went crazy and jumped out the window during.”

Honda Civic’s Rad New “To Each Their Own” Commercials

What do you get when you combine a lumberjack, a ninja, a monster, a zombie and a Lucha Libre wrestler? Unfortunately, not the next great super hero team. However, they do come together to make television commercials a little bit better thanks to a new series hyping the new (I’m assuming it’s new, I know nothing about cars) Honda Civic. Here’s the main commercial with all five!

But that’s not all, looks like each member of their team will be getting their own spot. I saw the zombie one earlier today and it looked pretty fantastic. I love how bummed out he looks when the ball cart grabs his arms.

Holy crap, the ninja one not only involves some ninja moves, but also a neon truck chase and some old school video games. Oh and a song that seems to be called “I’m A Ninja.” Super cool!

And then you’ve got the lumberjack one. It’s not quite as cool, but still fun.

Not since that epic Kia Super Bowl commercial from a few years back have I been this curious and invested in a group of characters designed and put together to sell me something I have no intention of buying.

Old Navy Wants You To Hate Them

That’s the only reason I can guess why they would make such amazingly annoying and awful commercials such as these. The first one, with the song (sigh) “Super C-U-T-E” by something called Audio Threadz entered my consciousness last week much to my chagrin. Aside from being a punch-worthy song, just look at the singer chick’s two yahoo cohorts. Don’t they look like Deelite rejects?

Well now “Old Navy Records” (sigh again) wants to assault your senses with another track called “Welcome To The Ankle Show” by Cherrie And The Stems. At least “Super” could be a song on it’s own, on the radio or whatever (I hope that never happens) but this is a song about ankles. Seeing as how it’s probably not aimed at the Amish, I don’t think this one would be a hit.