AXE Says “Clean Your Balls”

AXE isn’t known for their subtle ad campaigns. The company that used to tell you that if you used their body spray is now playing coy (just barely) with a new “detailer.” Here’s the 15-second shortest version:

And the 30 second version, the one I saw tonight during the Real World New Orleans reunion episode:

Finally, the much (probably too) long 2 minute 45 second version.

I’ve got no problem with AXE playing with innuendo, I’m no prude. I just wish the longer version wasn’t so one-note. I also think it would be funny if instead of playing a former tennis pro (more ball jokes, WAKA WAKA WAKA) Jaime Pressly either played herself or her character from Poison Ivy 3 (my first interaction with the actress and the cause of my crush on her).

Here’s my problem with the commercials: that thing looks freaking painful. There’s even a note that comes up in all versions of the commercial when sports equipment is being rubbed particularly roughly that says, and I quote, “Take care when using on sensitive areas.” In other words, don’t rub your testicles with this thing as hard as you would a pair of golf balls. I’m not ashamed to admit that I just use a luffa and would recommend that to anyone over this ridiculous implement.

Hey, on the other hand though, seeing this thing in a man’s bathroom might be the prefect indicator to a woman that 1) he doesn’t know how to clean himself well, 2) he really REALLY wants to be touched or 3) he’s not secure enough with himself to have a weird spongy thing hanging in his shower (mine’s green). That should work as an immediate signal for any smart woman to get out of that house ASAP, in my opinion.