For the record, I say towards the end of the episode that I think people should be able to do whatever they want. I meant to add the caveat “as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else.” Unfortunately, too many people these days only believe in the first half of the sentiment and not the second.
I really had high hopes for Extract. Not only was it written and directed by Mike Judge (who did the brilliant Office Space and Idiocracy), but it also stars some of my favorite actors and actresses: Jason Bateman, Ben Affleck, Mila Kunis, J.K. Simmons, Kristen Wiig and David Koechner. So, it’s all the more disappointing that this movie turned out to be an incredibly dull and annoying affair that didn’t end soon enough (which is saying something for a 90 minute movie). Let’s see if I can relate the plot to you (it’s mighty complicated), Bateman owns an extract plant, but wants to sell it. He’s married to Wiig, who doesn’t have sex with him because she wears sweatpants. Meanwhile, Kunis plays a conwoman who reads in the paper that an employ at the extract plant got hurt and could be worth millions if he sued, so she becomes a temp for Bateman’s company. Bateman thinks she’s cute so he gets stoned with his friend Affleck who convinces him its a good idea to hire a gigolo to sleep with Wiig so he can cheat on her with Kunis (she flirted pretty heavily with him to get the injured employee’s contact info). Oh, also, before the accident, Bateman was in talks to sell the company, somehow the employees get word of this and freak out. As you can tell, there’s a lot going on and none of it really feels real or solid, mostly because a lot of it could have been figured out with a few simple conversations. I kept thinking that the idiot gigolo wasn’t really even sleeping with Wiig, but it turns out he was. And even though I liked all of the above-mentioned actors in their roles, except for Koechner who plays the most annoying neighbor on the history of the planet, I still could not get into it. One of Bateman’s employees, a redheaded woman, is also incredibly annoying. Usually in a movie like this, those characters get their due, but in this case, not so much. I will say that I liked Wiig actually playing a normal person. I’m a fan of hers, but I’m getting a little sick of most of her recurring characters on SNL (I hate hate HATE Gilly). I also got a kick out of the little bits of music/rock talk. The movie starts with Kunis flirting with two Guitar Center employees (one played by Hal Sparks) who go on and on about fusion (a combination of rock and jazz guitar playing). There’s also a later conversation about the different sub categories of heavy metal that I got a chuckle out of. But, overall, liking a few music jokes that last roughly 5 minutes (maybe) and some actors doesn’t make this a movie worth watching. I found myself constantly getting up and walking around because I just didn’t care (Bateman’s situation seems a little too close to his role in Juno actually and Em kept referring to Envy, a terrible movie I disliked so much I don’t even remember) and both of us were thankful by the time it was over. Em even said we should move on to Season Two of Doctor Who as a palette cleanser, so we are. We’re 20 minutes into the Christmas episode and it’s FAR better than this movie. Hopefully Judge’s next one will fix this. Everyone makes a few crappy movies, it’s inevitable.