Hilarious IMDb Plot Summaries: Lured Innocence

I’ve been kicking around IMDb looking at some of Dennis Hopper’s more questionable choices when it comes to film (have you ever seen Crow: Wicked Prayer? yeesh). I saw a film called Lured Innocence from 1999 that sounded extra silly and/or creepy so I checked out the plot summary. And really, wow. There are so many incoherent thoughts and unfinished sentences in such a small space that I had to share them with you.

This is copied directly from the page. For what it’s worth, Hopper plays Rick Chambers:

“Elsie Townsend is a country towns-girl who wants to leave far away and get rich. She becomes the spoiled mistress of married local businessman Rick Chambers, but when his sickly wife Martha tells her to fear he wants to kill her to be free and yet keep her money, accepts to kill him together- which is a setup to scare Martha to dead. However Rick alone is locked away, and Elsie arranges an original alibi by slipping away from the bed of decent epilepsy-sufferer Elden Tolbert, whom she made betray his true girlfriend and arranged to pass out from alcohol so she could slip out for the murder during his seizure so he cannot deliver a fatal testimony, even if he wouldn’t be willing to lie for her before moving with his family when going to Arizona University… Written by KGF Vissers”

Now, I don’t know if KGF Vissers speaks English as a first language or not and I don’t really want to pick on him or her, but this person has writtten 5,702 summaries for IMDb, which, apparently, they NEVER READ. Maybe this is where the whole “anyone can contribute” thing doesn’t really make sense, especially when you’re the number one source of movie information on the net and maybe the world (next to UnitedMonkee.com of course).

All of this is a roundabout way for me to say one thing to IMDb: I am available for any editing you may need. Have your people contact mine.

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