Pop Culture Winter Olympics: Biathlon

The missus loves the Olympics like I love football, so this stuff will probably be on all day every day for the next two weeks. I’ve found that I like the winter games more than the summer because they’re so weird and incredibly dangerous. Everything involves blades or poles with spikes and when they don’t, hey, let’s throw some guns in. Right now we’re watching the biathlon which combines cross country skiing with target shooting (check out the Wiki page for a full list of the rules). Watching this got me thinking who from the world of comics, movies and TV might be good at these games, so here’s a list of who I’d put good money on coming in in the top four!

NAME: Frank “Punisher” Castle
COUNTRY: United States
If you need things shot, who better to have with his finger on the trigger than Punisher? He’s got accuracy and plenty of ammo for the sport, but I’m not so sure if he knows how to ski. I’m guessing he’d tackle that skill with relative ease, though.

NAME: Black Racer
COUNTRY: New Genesis
Punisher might have the edge when it comes to shooting, but no one can ski like the Black Racer. This New God’s job was to travel the cosmos and act as the grim reaper for New Gods, superheros and regular folks alike. He’d definitely win the speed portions, but I’m not sure how good he is with a gun. NAME: Harlan “Snow Job” Moore
COUNTRY: United States
Snow Job’s, well, job is literally to ski and shoot people. He was even a contender for the Olympic biathlon before joining G.I. Joe. Oh, he’s also a rifle instructor so this event seems tailor made for his specific expertise. Keep your eye on him, though, as he’s a known con artist.

NAME: James Bond
COUNTRY: England
Snow Job’s good, but James Bond is the best. He’s shown both his skiing and shooting skills in movies like On Her Majesty’s Secret Service and The Spy Who Loved Me, so biathlon should be a walk in the park for him, especially considering the target’s won’t be shooting back.

9 thoughts on “Pop Culture Winter Olympics: Biathlon

  1. I’m glad you finally have grown to appreciate the Olympics even if it is only for blog fodder because at least that means I can watch it without the usual eye rolls. So, start working on your list of pop culture couples that would be good pairs figure skaters! :o)

    1. I see what you’re saying, but if the Joes were really as good as everyone says they are, wouldn’t they have murdered that incompetent showboat Cobra Commander long ago?

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