Halloween Scene: Room 205 & No Man’s Land: Rise Of Reeker (2007)

Posted on by TJDietsch

I was pretty jazzed a few years ago when I got my hands on all eight Ghost House Underground flicks, but I ran out of steam after really hating Trackman and Brotherhood of Blood even after kind of liking Dark Floors, finding something weirdly intriguing about Last House In The Woods and loving Dance Of The Dead and The Substitute. Anyway, I just now watched the last two movies Room 205 and (deep breath) No Man’s Land: The Rise Of Reeker and luckily I didn’t hate them too much.

Room 205 is a Danish supernatural thriller that’s not really all that thrilling. In fact, it’s the slowest 90 minute movie I’ve ever sat through (usually I turn something this boring off). See, the idea here is that a girl moves into a dorm that is haunted by the ghost of another girl who was knocked around and raped in a bathroom before dying thanks to electric shock which somehow didn’t hurt her attackers. The ghost starts killing all the assholes who also live in the dorm. There’s something about ghosts living in mirrors or something and a lot of glass-breaking, but damn, this thing CRAWLS and there isn’t much originality in it.

The main girl has a dead mother who had mental problems (which of course means people doubt her when she tries to tell them what’s happening). The people in the dorm we meet aren’t just assholes, but MEAN assholes who fake deaths and have sex with you before running off. There’s an asshole pretty boy and a complete witch of a girl. So, the main girl’s boring and too familiar and all the other characters except the guy who moved out so the main girl could move in. He’s milquetoast for sure, but he’s a little more interesting and is the info dump guy who knows about the mirror thing. There’s very little of interest in the movie, especially if you’ve ever seen say ANY Japanese horror flick (at least there’s not little long haired kids and water threatening grown adults), but there are some fun kills with a guy’s head getting stuck in a moving elevator and a pretty great eye-stabbing. There’s even a cool tag ending that I thought was fun and made me wish a more exciting sequel was being made and I had seen that movie instead of this one. So, yeah, I’m waiting for Room 206, but not with baited breath.

Thankfully, NML: TROR wasn’t so bad, which was interesting because, at some point, I watched 20 or 30 minutes of it and turned the movie off. SPOILERS AHEAD. The story’s really complicated. We start off in the late 70s with a businessman stopping to talk to a drifter on a desert road. You’re supposed to think the drifter is dangerous, especially because he’s talking about a local killer, but it turns out the businessman is actually the killer! There’s a great scene where the man drives his car and stops right on top of the drifter’s chest, which soon caves in. The killer goes back to his murder shack, a cop follows him back and–after talking to some spirit no one else can hear–the killer surrenders only to be killed in the electric chair. But he appears all bloody and jump-cutty again back at his murder shack out of nowhere. Then we get to the present where some criminals with dumb luck bring their shot friend to the exact diner that both local cops (father and estranged son, a theme!) and a doctor who rides a motorcycle are hanging out. From there it gets weird as invisible walls seems to be keeping everyone in a designated area and the Reeker (the killer from before, I guess) shows up with a a black cloak, crazy face and a flamethrower! Oh, also, dead people are getting up and walking around with all their crazy injuries (the half-head guy is my favorite).

There was enough weirdness to keep me interested and I liked that the movie doesn’t get too much into the tropes of breakdown movies (a genre I dislike because nothing can top Texas Chainsaw Massacre or seems to be trying to). But (SPOILER WARNING AGAIN) I have no idea what the hell the end of the movie means. Was it all in their heads or did their actions against the Reeker somehow undo everything we had just seen. It was good enough to maybe possibly give another look at some point, but we’ll see, I’ve got a lot of horror movies to either watch or review for the first time this month.

Halloween Scene: The Substitute (2007) & Pulse 2 (2008)

Posted on by TJDietsch

2008-11-18
2:21:23 am

A few weeks (maybe months now) I raided the pile of new DVDs we get in the office and grabbed most of the horror movies. The Ghost House Underground flicks were on that pile, which I was pretty excited about, but I also grabbed some movies I didn’t really know anything about. The other day I watched one of each and I was pleasantly surprised by both.

First up was The Substitute from Denmark (Vikaren in whatever people from Denmark speak) which was awesome. The story reminds me of movies from my childhood (though I can’t remember any specifically) where a group of kids learn the truth about their teacher (she’s a whole chicken-eating alien) but the parents don’t believe them, partly because she has some kind of mind control powers when it comes to making people say things (she can also shrink people). There’s a ton of great scenes playing off this concept, like the teacher starting a relationship with the main kid’s dad and showing her true face only to him at the dinner table and another kid telling his parents something along the lines of “I hope you realize this is the last time you’ll ever see me alive” after trying to convince them of his teacher’s evilness and them still sending him on a field trip with her. There’s even a great scene where the kids sneak into the teacher’s house with terrifying results.

The story gets a bit confusing at the end, but all in all it’s a really solid story that’s got it’s own visual style and even sports opening and closing voiceovers about how humanity and earth are awesome. My only problems come with the fact that I’m not from Denmark and couldn’t watch this movie in a language I understand. The dubbing wasn’t as bad as some of the other movies I’ve watched, but my real problem stemmed from not being able to tell if the long haired blonde children were boys or girls. As the story plays on, though, I figured it out.

Like I said this was a really enjoyable movie, one that I’d actually like to see get remade in the states, but with a really solid director. How great would it be to have another Goonies-type movie showing kids in somewhat adult situations and dealing with a crazy situation? Do they make movies like that for kids anymore? I watched about 10 minutes of High School Musical 2 and wanted to hurt things, so I had to leave the room. Needless to say, I’m not real tapped in to what the kids like, but this would be good for them.

Pulse 2, however, probably wouldn’t be so good for the kids. Not because it’s a bad movie or even all that disturbing, but moreso because the ridiculous amounts of needless greenscreening may warp young minds. More on that in a minute. The story apparently follows directly from the original Pulse, which I did not see, so I was pretty lost. I’m also pretty sure that they don’t really go into many of the details of what happened in the first movie beyond “Computers caused it” or whatever.

The story follows a dad played by Jamie Bamber (who’s on Battlestar Galactica, but I don’t watch that show so, eh) trying to make sure his daughter’s okay in a world that’s slowly creating more and more black and white static ghosts that can only appear around technology (?). We start off following his ex-wife/the girl’s mom as she’s wandering around some weird dream world looking for her daughter (which is made even more dreamlike thanks to the greenscreening). Then it weirdly jumps to the dad grabbing the daughter and leaving for a cabin in the woods where his weird girlfriend comes in. There’s a whole lot of other weird plot elements, like a dude who claims to know how to stop the techno ghost plague (or whatever).

I had less than zero interest or expectations for this movie going in and even though it wasn’t great and the plot was a little sloppy in the beginning, I still kind of liked it. I’m not sure why, really. The story was compelling and the Battlestar Galactica dude acted pretty well even with all the weirdness and the greenscreening.

Okay, I can’t go on anymore without addressing this. There are tons of scenes filmed on green screens for some reason. And it’s not like this movie takes place on Mars or in Sin City, it’s a dude in a cabin, yet, instead of filming it normally it’s on a green screen. It didn’t bother me in the beginning because I assumed the mom was in some kind of weird dream world, but there were so many scenes sporting sloppy greenscreening that I couldn’t help but notice and I’m not usually able to spot this stuff so easily. It’s really distracting, but it also kind of adds to the weird goofy atmosphere of this movie. I probably wouldn’t watch Pulse 2 again, but it did kind of make me want to watch the Kristen Bell original to see what the heck is going on and I would definitely rent the third installment to see if the weird dude really did figure out a way to block the signal.

Oh, there’s also a completely weird scene where the dad and the kid are driving away, but dad stops as he sees a fat man in a diaper readying himself to jump off a bridge. Now, I don’t know about you guys, but if that was me, I’d speed up and get on the other side of that bridge ASAP. He stops, looks up, waits and then decides to drive, just in time for the fat man to smash into the top of his SUV and roll off the back. Haha, weird.

Halloween Scene: Last House in the Woods (2006)

Posted on by TJDietsch

2008-10-23
11:48:33 pm

As you can probably imagine, my expectations were pretty low going into tonight’s Ghost House Underground flick Last House in the Woods. I actually only chose to check this one out tonight because it boasted the shortest run time of the stack of newer DVDs I’ve gotten from work. But, I’ll tell you what, I was pleasantly surprised.

I’ll get this out of the way in the beginning, this flick seems heavily influenced by Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Now, I didn’t initially get this vibe as you start off with a car accident and then a car kill followed by some character development stuff. It’s kind of funny because as the poop was starting to hit the fan I thought “Hey, this has kind of TCM vibe to it” mostly due to the shaky camera that added to the realism of the film. Then, not more than 15 minutes later, I’m watching a dinner scene and a mentally challenged killer wearing an apron hoists a chainsaw and hacks into someone. But, really, aside from these few minutes, the movie draws more from the feeling and themes of TCM without directly swiping. I haven’t seen Last House on the Left yet, so I’m not sure how much it pilfers from that or if it’s just a title nod.

I really wasn’t sure what to think about this flick as it started. After the initial kills the focus switches to our heroine who’s having boy trouble. It took me a few minutes to really start paying attention, so I’m not sure if she’s dealing with the same guy the whole time, but there’s a weird scene where the dude she’s with wants to have sex with her while she draws, to see what she’ll draw. Those crazy kids. Our main girl Aurora ends up in the woods with her boyfriend. They’re driving and stop to make out or something and then have yet another talk about sex (Italians are romantic, remember).

Meanwhile we get a view of three meathead dudes driving in a car talking about drugs and having sexual encounters with the ladies. The funny thing is that I swear I’ve seen these dudes while driving around Jersey. Anyway, I kind of like them right off the bat because they’re total jerks and don’t care and just seem kind of funny. That lasts about three minutes until they pull off so one of them can pee and then decide beat the crap out of Aurora’s boyfriend and nearly rape her. Jeez.

Luckily this slick looking dude who looks like a combination of Larry from Perfect Strangers and Ethan from Lost shows up and pulls a gun on the meatheads. They take off and the dude and his wife take Aurora and her boyfriend back to their place. Things seem okay for awhile until the dude hits on Aurora and then his freaking ugly kid shows up. And man, this kid ranks up there with the kid from The Ring as far as creepiness goes. He’s got blood on his face and sports a set of gnarled teeth that look more like fans. From here we’re treated to a game of cat and mouse as Aurora tries to escape only to run into some truly disgusting looking hillbillies (or the Italian equivalent) who are in league with the bad dude.

Enter the TCM scenes which are quickly followed up by the true game changer as the meathead dudes’ care breaks down and they end up at the bad dude’s house and decide to rob it. It’s really nice to see a new element injected to these kinds of movies. I may hate these guys, but the movie flips and makes them the heroes as they take on the bad guys. And there’s a real sense of dread as they wander through the house, having little-to-no idea what’s going on or how many people are in the house. And I really like the turnaround of the worst of them becoming the de facto hero.

I don’t want to get into the ending too much, but it offers up a kind of explanation for these characters and why their ugly, evil-looking child eats human flesh that at least makes sense. I’m not quite sure if I buy the resolution to the conflict, but I liked the movie enough to give it another view.

I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned this yet, but the gore is AWESOME. There’s a “dude trying to put his intestines back in” scene and a tumor popping scene. Oh man, they are squirm-inducing and awesome, but are never the sole focus of the action just a great addition to it. Oh and as a complete sidenote both of the main women in this flick (Aurora and the crazy kid’s mom) are HOT!

I do have a few complaints though. One is the lighting. It’s really weird. Even when it’s dark out there seems to be a lot of light. I don’t think it’s day for night, but it definitely does seem natural. The other thing that bugged me is the dubbing. I know that’s two dubbing complaints in one week for one film series, but it’s SO distracting. And I’m not even talking about the voices themselves but the way they’re integrated into the soundtrack makes them sound like they’re floating around and not nailed down in the film itself. They just don’t sound right and it has the potential to take viewers out of the movie. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t get absorbed right away.

So, here’s the current rundown of Ghost House Underground movies. Things are starting to look up!

MUST SEE

Dance of the Dead

Last House on the Left

CHECK OUT

Dark Floors

MEH

Trackman

GAH, NO!

Brotherhood of Blood

Halloween Scene: Trackman (2007)

Posted on by TJDietsch

2008-10-22
4:35:01 am

Trackman’s not a great movie. Really it’s not even that good. It’s a Russian flick about some bank robbers who take their hostages underground and start running amok of (if the legend is true) a guy who is related to the Chernobyl incident somehow. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t really paying much attention to this movie as I was finishing up the coloring work on the Dr. Fate sketch below (you don’t need a link, just scroll down a bit) and then posting the blog. It’s your run of the mill slasher flick, but this time with a really cool looking killer who has a thing about removing eyes with a machine he seems to have built for that express purpose and the gore looks great. Aside from that there’s not a lot going on even though I usually love the “normal people doing their thing until their lives are interrupted by/they stumble into something insane. In this case it’s a hostage situation gets interrupted by a crazy slasher.

There is a great scene where one of the guys actually gets to fight back for a pretty extensive amount of time (a minute or two, maybe). Usually there’s that one or two punches before the bad guy just axes you or whatever. This time he got hit with a blowtorch which is even worse.

A problem I had with this movie which actually doesn’t reflect back on the filmmakers is the dubbing. Oh man, I swear I’ve actually heard one of these guys in a Hong Kong action movie. The double edge sword here is that I usually fall asleep when watching a movie with subtitles (cause I’m lazy), so I’ll often put the dub version on. In this case it’s the default setting, but man is it distracting. I could barely finish coloring! But it’s not just him, there’s even a dude who they gave a kind of urban voice too which doesn’t seem to fit. Why can’t they ever get convincing actors to do this stuff? I think it would have jumped up a bit in my opinion of the voice over work was a little bit more subtle or just emoted more. Ah well.

That brings my current Ghost House Underground ranks as thus:

MUST SEE

Dance of the Dead

CHECK OUT

Dark Floors

MEH

Trackman

GAH, NO!

Brotherhood of Blood

Halloween Scene: Brotherhood of Blood (2007)

Posted on by TJDietsch

2008-10-17
4:22:28 am

I figured my good luck with the Ghost House Underground flicks wouldn’t last. I’ve been watching Brotherhood of Blood for about an hour now and I just don’t really care what’s going on. The story needlessly jumps around in time, which I can accept, except the editing is a bit confusing and about half the acting is wooden (the other half darn good). The dialogue has about the same percentage of hit and miss.

It’s you’re basic team of vampire hunters against an old vampire and his clan. There’s some kind of plot about a dude whose brother may or may not be a vampire. Again, I’m being a bad reviewer and got distracted by the Internets, but there also hasn’t been much in the movie to make me take note and saw “holy cats!” It’s kind of like a Blade movie, but without the style or the budget. It also sets up an unfamiliar mythology and then tries to flip it on us like it’s something we’ve known since we were kids, but it just doesn’t work out all that well.

I have noticed that the movie looks more like an episode of Law and Order than a movie. I assume Dance of the Dead had a fairly low budget as well, but it looked a lot slicker than BoB. Another thing I noticed is that the young vampire hunter kid they induct into their group is pretty much an idiot. Not only does he try to unchain their vampire captive (played by Dawn of the Dead and Leatherface’s Ken Foree!), but he then later complains that the vampire is tied up to tight. JEEZ! The main vampire hunter chick actually does make a point about how stupid he’s being, but I question if anyone would react in such a manner after actually being around vampires.

But it’s not all bad. Like I said Ken Foree’s in it, which makes two movies I’ve watched with him in it this week! He looks kind of like a gypsy vampire, but I’m not really sure what his story is. It’s ALWAYS good to see my man again. (EDITOR’S NOTE: I’ve never met Ken, but I feel like we could start a detective duo or a mystery solving rock band if and when we do eventually meet.) Sid Haig of Devil’s Rejects and House of 1000 fame also pops up. He’s the leader of the vampire pack. He tempers his usual over-the-top-ness with more subtlety than you might expect, but, like with Ken, he’s always a fun face to see in a flick.

Finally, I’ve got to give it to Victoria Pratt for giving her all in her roll as the main vampire hunter lady. You may recognize her from Cleopatra 2025 or Mutant X, but I didn’t. There wasn’t a single moment on screen where I thought she believed anything but the plain and simple fact that she was a badass vampire hunter. She really keeps the movie from completely toppling in on itself with all the little problems. She’s even responsible for most of the best gore pieces when she’s kicking vamp butt.

Overall, I can’t recommend this flick to anyone but huge vampire, Ken Foree, Sid Haig or Victoria Pratt fans. The story’s muddled, the acting, editing and script only so-so, the gore pretty good though there isn’t a lot of it and the big “twist ending” is just kind of eh, but you do get a slightly different take on the vampire mythos.

Halloween Scene: Dark Floors (2008)

Posted on by TJDietsch

2008-10-16
3:16:56 am

Okay, so I watched Dark Floors and then did a little online research which explains some stuff, so I’m going to review it as I would have without doing research and then give you the added info I got.

Okay, so the basic premise is a kind of Langoliers meets The Mist in a hospital. You’ve got the dad, his autistic daughter, the nurse, the security guard, the guard and the crazy old guy all in an elevator that has some problems. Once they get out of the elevator, it appears as though the hospital they were all in is empty. Crazier and crazier things keep happening as monsters and ghosts keep harassing them as they descend from floor to floor. Oh, also, the little girl and the old man seem to have some kind of connection to what’s going on.

I don’t want to give too too much of the plot away, but there were a lot of cool elements that I do want to talk about. Soon after getting off the elevator our group passes a copy machine that keeps spitting out copies even though there’s nothing on the machine. The nurse stacks the papers together and flips through them like a flip book revealing an eerie black and white cartoon of a ghostly face moving around the pages. It’s a really cool scene and something I haven’t seen before.

I also liked the set decoration. As our “heroes” descend lower and lower towards the morgue level (from which they can get to the parking garage, great planning folks) the hospital walls get more dirty, disgusting and gory. The horrors in the hallways themselves get worse and worse too, lending a sense of impending doom that reminded me of hell, but without forcing the imagery of Dante’s Inferno down your throats.

The above mentioned monsters are pretty creepy, looking like anything from a Predator to Evil Ernie to an Egyptian mummy and even a Dracula looking dude. They’re pretty creepy looking, but I wasn’t really sure about how they were related. And the connection is never really explained.

Okay, now to get into some SPOILER territory. From what I can tell, time stopped in the hospital and the outside world (there’s a really cool reveal of this). But there’s also some kind time loop going on within the hospital where things that happened earlier in the movie are explained a little bit later. It’s not a completely unique twist, but I didn’t see it coming until right before the characters themselves realized it. The monsters are after the girl, she’s some kind of key. But then at the very end it turns out that the entire story you just saw was part of the girl’s mind and tracks back to the beginning of the movie. So we get a kind of restart with slightly different circumstances. I’m left scratching my head. Are things different now (she wanted the blue crayon instead of the red crayon) or is this supposed to be what it’s like living inside of this poor little girl who keeps drawing really creepy pictures with crayons? I don’t really know the answer, but I still found the movie enjoyable even though I generally hate the ones where the end negates the last hour of viewing time. Or did it? As long as I’m asking that question, it doesn’t make me all the way mad.

Okay, so here’s what I learned after jumping on this here internet thing and looking around. Those monsters that didn’t seem to make much sense? Well, they’re apparently the members of a Finnish band kind of like Gwar, called Lordi. Apparently the lead singer of the band, Mr. Lordi, both suggested the story and also played the main, end bad guy (who looks like Dracula). That doesn’t really make the movie make any more sense, but it does at least explain why these weird ghosts and monsters are hanging out together terrorizing little girls and assorted other people who haven’t really done anything. There’s even two music videos on the DVD that both look like pretty great short horror films.

Even before I read all that extra info, I would suggest renting Dark Floors. It’s got a great sense of atmosphere, creepy monsters, great special effects (both CGI and practical) and nice performances from all the actors, especially the creepy little girl who stays consistently creepy the whole time. Good stuff.

So far that’s two out of two quality flicks from the Ghost House Underground releases which has me pretty excited for the rest.

Halloween Scene: Dance of the Dead (2008)

Posted on by TJDietsch

2008-10-08
3:38:35 pm

Wow. I haven’t enjoyed a movie as much as I enjoyed Dance of the Dead since…well, I can’t really remember actually. I was so into this movie and excited by how good it was that I was actually giddy when it was over. I was also tired, which is why I didn’t immediately blog about it last night. Dance is a perfect cocktail of some of my favorite genres including zombie, horror, comedy and late 90s teenage movies (which makes sense because according to Wikipedia and IMDB, the script was originally written in the 90s). If you like anything I just mentioned, you NEED to check out this entry from Lionsgate and Sam Raimi’s Ghost House Underground imprint which produced 30 Days of Night (eh) and The Grudge (nope). If you’re not already convinced, read on, but be warned, the review is, as usually SPOILER FILLED. Thanks to Wizard Staff Writer Steve Sunu for passing the full set of Ghost House Underground DVDs my way for review, I’m super psyched to make my way through them.

Anyway, the very basic idea of the movie is that this huge zombie infestation takes place on the night of homecoming and it’s up to a combination of our unpopular hero, the sci-fi club, the crazy bully guy, the prom planner girl, the cheerleader and the punk rock kids to save the day along with the the gym teacher. Now, I know that sounds like a lame premise, and it is, but the mix of comedy, action and gore really puts Dance head and shoulders above most of the other horror movies I’ve seen. I think I might even like it more than Shaun of the Dead (blasphemy, I know) because of how deftly the screenwriter Joe Ballarini balances the cliche moments with the humor and the violence. It’s perfectly over the top without crashing and burning on the other side. The cast is also fantastic and, hey, surprise surprise, they’re actually young. I’m not sure if they’re exactly high school age, but you’re not looking at a bunch of kids who are clearly 27 and were probably home schooled anyway. Kudos to director Gregg Bishop for getting such great performances out of the unknown cast (I didn’t recognize anyone) and putting together such a great flick.

And now some actual evidence of why this movie is so great, aside from the tone, humor and story, there’s also some really great scenes, both poking fun at and celebrating all the movies it lovingly hearkens back to. The movie opens on a graveyard where the groundskeeper nonchalantly cuts off a zombie’s arm and then throws it on a pile of other wriggling undead body parts. The camera pans up to reveal a nuclear power plant in the background and then the title of the film appears in old school green spooky letters that reminded me of a Troma movie.

From there you get a glimpse of the school with it’s over the top jerk@$$ biology teacher and tough as nails gym coach. You’ve also got plenty of high school relationship stuff set up that plays out through the rest of the movie (make-ups, break ups, crushes, that kind of thing). The actual night of prom starts off with all of our leads not actually at prom, they’re out in the town as the sci fi club goes to the cemetery and the zombies let loose. There’s this awesome scene where they’re running through the graveyard as zombies are jumping out left and right. There’s none of that boring “here’s one zombie, here’s another,” there’s a freaking LEGION of zombies out there.

The individual groups of kids start meeting up and one of my personal favorite scenes in the movie comes when our hero Jimmy meets up with the bully/backyard wrestler and they fight the zombies. The bully dude (who’s the only one who looks like he’s older, but that’s the whole point) goes crazy, ripping arms off and kicking ass. He even rips a zombie’s arm off and shoves it down her throat. AWESOME!

So after some more trials and tribulations most of the main characters all meet up at a house that turns out to be a mortuary (great twist and reveal). Meanwhile, the three dudes in the band are getting high in a garage and playing music. They open up the garage door to get some fresh air and there’s a half dozen zombies waiting outside for them. The lead band dude, Nash, stumbles backwards, kicks his guitar and the feedback stops the zombies. That’s right, ROCK AND ROLL apparently screws up the zombies’ ability to communicate with each other (like bees, one of the characters explains later). What an awesome moment and it gets brought back up later once they get to the prom.

The kids get out of the mortuary and meet up with the coach who happens to have an arsenal in his garage. He arms the kids and then they make their way to the prom, first stopping off to save the dudes in the band who bring their instruments as their weapons! But once they get to the prom, it’s completely overrun with zombies. The coach has a plan and the kids do their parts, but the coach’s detonator falls in the middle of the zombie jamboree so Jimmy runs in to grab it. His girl follows him and they have an awesome, back to back fight against a crowd of zombie. Just as things aren’t looking so good for them, the band starts playing again, but our heroes don’t just scramble around looking for the device, they SLOW DANCE their way around. Again, it sounds wacky, but the DOTD crew pulls it off masterfully. From there the ending rolls out and is highly satisfying, even setting things up for a sequel. Seriously you need to see this movie.

Still not convinced? Sheesh, okay, let me relate my favorite scene from the movie. You see, the Jimmy’s friend has this crush on the cheerleader, but she’s got a crush on Nash. Towards the end (SPOILER) the cheerleader gets bit by a zombie, she pulls Jimmy’s friend into the bathroom and asks him to hold her, which he does, but only after being completely grossed and freaked out. She even starts kissing him, which he’s into until she bites his lip off and starts attacking him. Later, we pick back up with them, now they’re both zombies and they start making out again in the bathroom hot and heavy, which leads to even more face biting. It’s great, hilarious stuff.

I could honestly go on and on, there were that many awesome moments, with more and more popping into my head as I type this (the convenience store scene, the cheerleader asking Nash out) but I don’t want to ruin EVERYTHING. Do yourself a favor and check Dance of the Dead out, it’ll be the best 87 minutes of your day guaranteed (unless you also happen to win the lottery or something along those lines).