Halloween Scene: Ghoulies III, Ghoulies Go To College (1991)

A few months back my pal Rickey told me about this amazing 8 movie, 2-disc set from Lionsgate that includes Chopping Mall, Ghoulies Go To College, 976-EVIL 2, C.H.U.D. II, Slaughter High, Waxwork, The Unholy and Class of 1999. I love Chopping Mall and have seen Class of 1999, so after failing to find a copy at my local Walmart and Kmart I went to ebay and picked up a copy myself. I haven’t fully utilized it this October, but I did pop on Ghoulies 3 and had a fantastic time watching this flick. By the way, you can get this set for under $5 right now on Amazon, which is definitely less than I paid.

As regular readers surely know by now, I’m a big fan of goofy horror movies and 80s/90s high school and college movies. Ghoulies Go To College is actually a really great synthesis of the two, kind of like a cross between something like Critters and a less serious Revenge of the Nerds. The movie follows a trio of Ghoulies who get brought back to our plane of existence thanks to a comic book read by an angry professor. Said professor is sick of the prank war going on between two fraternities and it just so happens that the Ghoulies’ brand of murderous mayhem fits in well with the war being waged. I have to say, I thought this was a pretty brilliant way to have the Ghoulies’ actions be seen and experienced without directly pointing to them.

I put this movie on expecting almost nothing and walking away really surprised and even a little impressed. The puppetry in this movie is surprisingly good. You’d think by the third installment of a film that hadn’t been released in the US on DVD until this set would have some pretty awful special effects, but there seems to be either a fair amount of money behind this production or some really creative uses of what money they had. You also get the added bonus of the three main Ghoulies being pretty funny. They spend a good deal of the movie dressed up like late 80s/early 90s college kids which made me chuckle every time. They also talk, which can be kind of annoying, but they get a few good ones in here and there. Plus, this happens:

So, yes, this is two great tastes that taste great together for me, delivering on what I hoped to get from Welcome To Spring Break. It’s definitely goofy, but balances out the horror with the college stuff to deliver a fun little movie that probably deserves a more impressive release than this one.

Halloween Scene: Friday the 13th Part VII The New Blood

I don’t think there’s a movie series out there that I have a harder time keeping track of than Friday the 13th. For whatever reason I always forget which is which. The one thing I do know (or at least think I know) is that I’ve never seen Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood before. The only reason I “know” this is because, aside from Jason Goes To Hell which I definitely haven’t seen, this is the only movie not crossed off in my ragged copy of Creature Feature. Last Halloween I got a used copy of the box set that has F13 1-8 in them and reviewed 1 & 2 and 3 & 4 and even teased a review of 5 that never happened here. I’m pretty sure I also watched 6, but after watching the recap at the beginning of 7, I’m not quite sure. I can remember all kinds of comic book nonsense, why can’t I keep track of a few (well almost a dozen) movies? Anyway, since I (probably) haven’t seen this one before, I figured I’d give it the live blogging treatment. Hit the jump for the full experience!
F13 7

*This is the only numbered F13 I haven’t seen before (I’ve also never seen Jason Goes To Hell)

*Interesting choice to open the movie with a voiceover recap. I’m actually kind of thankful because I don’t really remember what happened in 6.

*Jeez, did I watch 6 all the way through? This seems kind of familiar, but not completely. I can never keep these things straight.

*The light-through-the mask holes and eye holes of the mask looks pretty rad. Kind of like that Korn video.

*This seems like a long-ass opening credit sequence, probably thanks to the recap.

*Hey, why didn’t they just fill the lake in with cement? Just ignoring the problem isn’t going to do anything.

*I like the idea of Jason being set up against someone with powers. If the world can create something like Jason, it should also create something that can offest him.

*Hey, never trust a doctor who thinks it’s a good idea for you to return to the place your dad died…and a hundred kids have been murdered. MOVE ANYWHERE ELSE!

*Dr. Crews is an ass.

*Wouldn’t someone have seen Jason chained up down there when they got her dad?

*Heh, it looks like Jason farts himself back to life.

*There’s Jason’s first kill. You can tell where there would have been more blood and gore had the MPAA not gone crazy on this movie.

*”The party hasn’t even started yet and this place already looks like the closing of the stock exchange.” WTF?

*It’s got to be really scary to have a monster like Jason after you and not only doesn’t anyone believe you (even though his murders should be well-documented by now), but also you’re shrink is telling you you’re crazy.

*Ha, Dr. Crews played the time traveling HG Wells on Lois & Clark! He was also in Side Out which I just watched yesterday. And he played Bernie in BOTH Weekend At Bernie’s movies. I’m watching them next!

*It’s also gotta be really friggin scary to be sitting naked in a tent only to get dragged out in your sleeping bag and smashed to death against a tree. Now I understand how funny that kill in Jason X is.

*I like the weirdo sci-fi kid.

*That was one of the most sluggish POV-camera-moving-to-avoid-the-hero’s-gaze shots I’ve ever seen.

*Hey, they’re both screwed up! Awwww.

*Yeah, smoke that weed! It won’t have any negative effects.

*That blonde girl with the pearls is a bitch! Why would she make that straight-jacket joke? Oh, yeah, she wants the guy who likes Tina.

*Yes! Throw the TV at that jerkwad doctor! He sucks!

*Yeah! Nudity! Does butt count? Man, that preppy kid is a weenie. A dead weenie.

*Doesn’t Jason hate the water? Why would he go in it to kill her?

*Jason’s getting sloppy just leaving his victims around.

*It’s good to see the mom defending Tina. Though stealing the car will probably sign her mom’s death warrant.

*Jason does look awesomely creepy in this movie.

*I wonder if Jason goes into these things with a plan or if he just takes the victims as they come. It would seem rather impossible to plan for something like this, I bet it’s like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, he’s got an outline, but not a script. “I definitely want to kill someone by the water and I want to use my awesome knife and I’m definitely going to strategically place the bodies, but aside from that, it’s all jazz baby. Pure improvisation.

*Haha, what? Jason just killed that girl with a party horn. That’s as weird as the corn kill from Sleepwalkers .

*”I have been rejected by some of the finest science fiction magazines in these United States!” – nerd kid. Hahaha

*There sure are a lot of knife kills in this flick. Jason looks like he wants cake as he goes to stab that kid near the refrigerator.

*I like that the nerd kid is just going through the presents. Aw man, he got a lame death. Thanks MPAA and you’re lameness.

*Really? A cat scare? Come on now. Someone should do a cat scare montage like the dead cell phone one.

*This movie makes me want to watch Scream again, especially with its huge number of rule breakers: drugs, drinking, sex and “I’ll be right backs.” Thankfully it’s on NetBox so I can watch it after I’m done with the Weekend At Bernie’s movies.

*I like the idea of there being an intended surprise party that never happens. it’s some cool set design and, in theory, could offer itself to some cool kills (not shoving a party horn into someone’s face mind you).

*Woah, that’s a cool sharp blade on the end of stick that Jason’s got.

*Oh man, the doctor totally used Tina’s mom as a human shield.

*The sci-fi kid’s eye totally moves when they do his body-reveal.

*I just noticed that our male hero is wearing a Canadian tuxedo. So much denim.

*Haha, I love how Jason just keeps finding more and more awesome things to kill his victims with, with no explanation (or at least I missed the explanation). That thing looks like the weedwacker from hell.

*Jason’s tying people up skills need some work. All that time under water has made him rusty.

*She’s making a tree fight him? Ah, a tree and electricity.

*It’s kind of funny to see Jason flinch away from the porch support posts as they break.

*Oh sweety, you’ve already electrocuted him and he got up. You think dropping a roof on him will kill him?

*The bitchy girl’s about to get what’s coming to her! With an axe even. BAM!

*This part feels really familiar. I wonder if I’ve seen it or I’ve seen these clips. Going To Pieces did spoil a lot of movies.

*Jason is one ugly mug.

*Why does she insist on just dropping him into holes? It’s a house, you can’t really fall that far.

*Setting the building on fire while you’re still in it might not be the best plan of attack. Just saying.

*How did Jason sneak up on them? Movie BS, that’s how!

*I was just thinking that it would be cool if her dad popped out of the water and pulled Jason under and then it happened!

*Haha, aw crap, I got myself all mixed up. I have seen F13 7, 6 is the one I haven’t watched before! I should really consult my book before writing this stuff. Grr. Ah well, hope you liked this installment!

Mini Monsters: Troll 1 and 2

3:19:35 am

Okay, I’m in search of a movie from my childhood. I thought either of the Troll flicks might jog my memory. Unfortunately, neither the original nor the non-sequel struck a chord in my memory, but I sure had a good time watching both movies.

Even though the first Troll (1986) flick has a mini monster with a ball on the freakingposter, it’s not the movie I remember. It is however a really strange flick with a father and son duo by the names of Harry Potter. Harry Jr’s sister gets taken over by a Troll (or something) when they move into their new apartment building. Soon enough the troll is causing all kinds of trouble, even converting the other tenants in weird creatures. Luckily there’s a weird old lady with a pet mushroom plant who helps Harry Jr. save the day. I’ll be honest, I watched Troll over a week ago and my already shoddy memory has forgotten a lot of the details. Sonny Bono, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and June Lockhart all have rolls and entertain in their own way. It really is just a great, weird movie.

Okay, so a swing and a miss on the first flick, maybe the second would be a hit. Nope. Whiff. Yeah baseball metaphors! Anyway, I didn’t really know Troll 2’s crazy history or its title as “Best Worst Movie” when I added it to my Netflix but between adding it and getting the movie, it was mentioned on both Horror Movie a Day and in the Totally Rad Show podcast. So, I was kind of excited to finally watch the movie, which apparently started life as a completely different movie about goblins. BC and HMAD did a pretty right on review though I think I liked the movie a lot more.

Yes, it’s completely ridiculous and poorly acted, but it’s definitely not the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Slumber Party Massacre 2 still holds that spot. Anyway, the TRS guys talked about a documentary created by the kid who starred in Troll 2 that I’m interested in checking out.

Instead of doing a straight-up review, I’ll post the notes I made while watching the first three quarters of the movie (I gave up and just watched, probably buzzed, after a while).

Here goes, with commentary when necessary:

-he’s imagining his dead g-pa telling him a story?

-Kid has a Superman poster and fucking Killing Joke Joker HAHAHAHAHAHAHA poster!!!

-“You take them to bed with you and i don’t believe in group sex” (the daughter in the story says this about her boyfriend and his friends)

-acting is BAD

-“Joshua start singing” (I think one of the parents yells this at the kid/hero)

-this kid has crazy dreams – green blood/sweat, tree fingers and sucking chest wound

-holy crap, they’re driving an aerostar (in high school I drove a 1994 Ford Aerostar Mini Van, this one is pretty similar)

-the town is called Nilbog, hahahaha

-who would ever trade houses with strangers? (the whole story revolves around the main family leaving their regular house to live in the house of some strangers in Nilbog who never really leave)

-mom has a menacing/evil quality because she keeps staring RIGHT AT THE CAMERA

-is that a stripe of blue frosting on the corn? (yes, goblins love putting frosting on stuff)

-hahaha he pissed on the food! (to make sure his family wouldn’t eat it)

-dad just challenged Josh to a not eating contest “just remember I’ve got more practice at this than you do.” (which is exactly how your dad handled you when you peed on the food)

-i hear my friend scream in the woods, i’m out the door seeing if he’s okay, not drinking mountain dew (the boyfriend and his friends borrow a mobile home which they park near Nilbog, not a good move in the long run)

-eww, Nilbog “special milk” that’s not refrigerated

-that’s not pudding it’s a cheesecake with green frosting

-nothing like a warm jug of milk on a hot day

The movie goes on from there and never lets up in the weirdness. There’s a scene where the Nilbogians throw a surprise party in the family’s house without them knowing it that is out of control and of course, the end is nuts (you’ll never hear a kid say Grandpa so many times).

Ha, which reminds me. The grandpa’s name is Seth, but the kid seems to have a ridiculously hard time wrapping his mouth around the word and it just comes out garbled every time.

Anyway, you could probably start a whole blog just on this movie. I enjoyed it for the most part and have my eyes peeled for the Troll 1 and 2 DVD at a reasonable price, but, unfortunately, my mini monster quest is not yet over. Somehow I’ll soldier on…

By watching Ghoulies 1 and 2! Coming soon!