I don’t think there’s a movie series out there that I have a harder time keeping track of than Friday the 13th. For whatever reason I always forget which is which. The one thing I do know (or at least think I know) is that I’ve never seen Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood before. The only reason I “know” this is because, aside from Jason Goes To Hell which I definitely haven’t seen, this is the only movie not crossed off in my ragged copy of Creature Feature. Last Halloween I got a used copy of the box set that has F13 1-8 in them and reviewed 1 & 2 and 3 & 4 and even teased a review of 5 that never happened here. I’m pretty sure I also watched 6, but after watching the recap at the beginning of 7, I’m not quite sure. I can remember all kinds of comic book nonsense, why can’t I keep track of a few (well almost a dozen) movies? Anyway, since I (probably) haven’t seen this one before, I figured I’d give it the live blogging treatment. Hit the jump for the full experience!
*This is the only numbered F13 I haven’t seen before (I’ve also never seen Jason Goes To Hell)
*Interesting choice to open the movie with a voiceover recap. I’m actually kind of thankful because I don’t really remember what happened in 6.
*Jeez, did I watch 6 all the way through? This seems kind of familiar, but not completely. I can never keep these things straight.
*The light-through-the mask holes and eye holes of the mask looks pretty rad. Kind of like that Korn video.
*This seems like a long-ass opening credit sequence, probably thanks to the recap.
*Hey, why didn’t they just fill the lake in with cement? Just ignoring the problem isn’t going to do anything.
*I like the idea of Jason being set up against someone with powers. If the world can create something like Jason, it should also create something that can offest him.
*Hey, never trust a doctor who thinks it’s a good idea for you to return to the place your dad died…and a hundred kids have been murdered. MOVE ANYWHERE ELSE!
*Dr. Crews is an ass.
*Wouldn’t someone have seen Jason chained up down there when they got her dad?
*Heh, it looks like Jason farts himself back to life.
*There’s Jason’s first kill. You can tell where there would have been more blood and gore had the MPAA not gone crazy on this movie.
*”The party hasn’t even started yet and this place already looks like the closing of the stock exchange.” WTF?
*It’s got to be really scary to have a monster like Jason after you and not only doesn’t anyone believe you (even though his murders should be well-documented by now), but also you’re shrink is telling you you’re crazy.
*Ha, Dr. Crews played the time traveling HG Wells on Lois & Clark! He was also in Side Out which I just watched yesterday. And he played Bernie in BOTH Weekend At Bernie’s movies. I’m watching them next!
*It’s also gotta be really friggin scary to be sitting naked in a tent only to get dragged out in your sleeping bag and smashed to death against a tree. Now I understand how funny that kill in Jason X is.
*I like the weirdo sci-fi kid.
*That was one of the most sluggish POV-camera-moving-to-avoid-the-hero’s-gaze shots I’ve ever seen.
*Hey, they’re both screwed up! Awwww.
*Yeah, smoke that weed! It won’t have any negative effects.
*That blonde girl with the pearls is a bitch! Why would she make that straight-jacket joke? Oh, yeah, she wants the guy who likes Tina.
*Yes! Throw the TV at that jerkwad doctor! He sucks!
*Yeah! Nudity! Does butt count? Man, that preppy kid is a weenie. A dead weenie.
*Doesn’t Jason hate the water? Why would he go in it to kill her?
*Jason’s getting sloppy just leaving his victims around.
*It’s good to see the mom defending Tina. Though stealing the car will probably sign her mom’s death warrant.
*Jason does look awesomely creepy in this movie.
*I wonder if Jason goes into these things with a plan or if he just takes the victims as they come. It would seem rather impossible to plan for something like this, I bet it’s like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, he’s got an outline, but not a script. “I definitely want to kill someone by the water and I want to use my awesome knife and I’m definitely going to strategically place the bodies, but aside from that, it’s all jazz baby. Pure improvisation.
*Haha, what? Jason just killed that girl with a party horn. That’s as weird as the corn kill from Sleepwalkers .
*”I have been rejected by some of the finest science fiction magazines in these United States!” – nerd kid. Hahaha
*There sure are a lot of knife kills in this flick. Jason looks like he wants cake as he goes to stab that kid near the refrigerator.
*I like that the nerd kid is just going through the presents. Aw man, he got a lame death. Thanks MPAA and you’re lameness.
*Really? A cat scare? Come on now. Someone should do a cat scare montage like the dead cell phone one.
*This movie makes me want to watch Scream again, especially with its huge number of rule breakers: drugs, drinking, sex and “I’ll be right backs.” Thankfully it’s on NetBox so I can watch it after I’m done with the Weekend At Bernie’s movies.
*I like the idea of there being an intended surprise party that never happens. it’s some cool set design and, in theory, could offer itself to some cool kills (not shoving a party horn into someone’s face mind you).
*Woah, that’s a cool sharp blade on the end of stick that Jason’s got.
*Oh man, the doctor totally used Tina’s mom as a human shield.
*The sci-fi kid’s eye totally moves when they do his body-reveal.
*I just noticed that our male hero is wearing a Canadian tuxedo. So much denim.
*Haha, I love how Jason just keeps finding more and more awesome things to kill his victims with, with no explanation (or at least I missed the explanation). That thing looks like the weedwacker from hell.
*Jason’s tying people up skills need some work. All that time under water has made him rusty.
*She’s making a tree fight him? Ah, a tree and electricity.
*It’s kind of funny to see Jason flinch away from the porch support posts as they break.
*Oh sweety, you’ve already electrocuted him and he got up. You think dropping a roof on him will kill him?
*The bitchy girl’s about to get what’s coming to her! With an axe even. BAM!
*This part feels really familiar. I wonder if I’ve seen it or I’ve seen these clips. Going To Pieces did spoil a lot of movies.
*Jason is one ugly mug.
*Why does she insist on just dropping him into holes? It’s a house, you can’t really fall that far.
*Setting the building on fire while you’re still in it might not be the best plan of attack. Just saying.
*How did Jason sneak up on them? Movie BS, that’s how!
*I was just thinking that it would be cool if her dad popped out of the water and pulled Jason under and then it happened!
*Haha, aw crap, I got myself all mixed up. I have seen F13 7, 6 is the one I haven’t watched before! I should really consult my book before writing this stuff. Grr. Ah well, hope you liked this installment!