Bloody Awful

2008-07-21
2:55:21 am

So, sometimes a movie comes along and it’s so terribly bad, that I really want to shut it off. Sometimes I do and other times I’m not done with my beer so I keep it on. I would have rather thrown an entire case down the drain than finish the terribleness that is Roger Corman’s Bloody Mama. The flick stars Shelly Winters (of Poseidon Adventure fame) as Ma Barker, the notorious leader of the Barker Boys crime family which consisted of her sons and a few other fellas. Here’s the thing though, according to my research (and by that, I, of course, mean Wikipedia), Ma Barker had nothing to do with her sons’ country-wide crime spree. But that didn’t stop Corman and Co. from throwing in a disturbing off camera incestual rape scene in the first 3 minutes followed by the young Ma Barker hoping that some days he’d be surrounded by her own sons that will protect her. Ugh. Oh yeah, Robert De Niro’s in this bad boy (and I mean BAD) as the son who’s on drugs. It’s really a truly bad film that makes little-to-no sense and I don’t really want to write much more about it, so I’ll just post my cleaned up, stream of consciousness notes here instead of really getting into it. If anything below makes you want to see the movie to understand what I mean, please don’t. E-mail me and I’ll answer you questions.

Bloody Mama (1970)

Do we really need to start with a rape followed by an upbeat jingle jangle song?

Ma Barker’s a criminal AND a racist

And now we have prison rape, yeesh

Why would cops shoot with those broads hangin’ off the car?

Mona gets passed around to the brothers, yuck

What the hell is the knife throwing game?

No one to root for, no hero, except De Niro cause i like him

And…another rape plus murder, sorry Rembrandt you were the only not hideous thing in this movie

I want all of these characters to get shot in the face, where’s J Edgar Hoover when you need him?

And now Ma wants to have sex with her hostage

Why are they catching gators? They fish with a pig and then shoot it with a tommy gun.

De Niro overdoses, oh well.

finally, SHOOTING, the END is near

Shelley Winters with a tommy gun mowing down cops is kinda funny

Also, they’ve drawn a crowd who’s watching it like it’s a play

Who are the cops shooting at outside while Shelly and her oldest son are talking? Everyone else is dead

Oh snap the last son just shot himself in the face with a tommy gun

Nice death montage followed by an ending with a stamp dedicated to mothers behind the credits is pretty funny

Ugh, what a pile of no goodness

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