Man, how cool is this poster? And guess what? Aside from the text, it has zero to do with Slaughter High, a mostly boring movie that swipes from several better movies, has terrible acting, a cool looking slasher, some decent effects and one amazingly original idea ruined by a stupid ending. Instead of reviewing this movie, I’m just going to give you a look at the notes I took while watching. Also, if you want a more in-depth review, check out BC’s over at HMAD which I just re-read and it explains why so many of the actors talked funny. Hit the jump for the live blogging.
*”You wanna do it don’t you?” – girl to nerd “Me? I’m a sex machine” nerd Marty. This is exactly from Porky’s (1982) or Toxic Avenger (1984), two much better movies.
*Marty turning “Marty sucks” into “Marty fucks” is fairly clever.
*”April Fool’s! Where’s the beef?” They’re poking him with a stick! Jesus, they make the kids from Tromaville look like good Samaritans.
*They electrocute him, drag him across the bathroom floor naked AND give him a swirly all while filming the whole thing with what looks like the crew of a small budget film? that’s some cold shit.
*Now, this part with the coach giving the bullies shit is like Carrie (1976).
*Awesome, now they’re giving the nerd weed.
*Jesus, they just set this kid up to die in a chemical fire.
*So, there’s a time jump and now it’s reunion time.
*Hey, how come only 8 of us got invited to this reunion? DUH DUH DUH
*”Come on you guys, let’s parteeee.” Ugh.
*How the hell did the dude get the lockers in there?
*These are some truly shitty actors.
*They can’t even wink convincingly.
*This dude has to be retarded to fall for the funnel-in the pants trick. That was also in a movie, by the way, I just can’t place it.
*Why would they be going to their reunion in May/April anyway?
*Woah, the intestine shot is actually pretty cool.
*The Marty drawing on the wall is pretty amazing. It would be funny if it turned out that all the non-asshole kids actually really liked Marty and immortalized him forever, turning him into a folk hero.
*The part with the dude holding up the turned-on tractor is actually pretty cool. Oh, shit, the killer cut his arms! Deadsy!!!
*The plan to just put your backs to the wall and wait for Marty is actually a pretty good one. I’m sure they’ll follow it perfectly.
*April Fool’s Day ends at noon?
*Now they’ve just got to stay awake, like NOES (1984).
*They slept all the way till 11AM and Marty didn’t just kill them in their sleep?
*The Jester mask makes a cool silhouette.
*Is the blonde girl drowning in shit? Or is that tar?
*Seeing the jester mask outside in a letterman’s jacket is pretty cool. Especially in that extreme worm’s eye view.
*The Final Girl thinks it’s a good idea to return to the scene of the crime?
*Hey, I just discovered something else that grosses me out: old toilet bowls overflowing with blood (and presumably shit).
*Marty’s a very theatrical killer, like Michael Myers. He must have gotten pretty strong to be able to pose those corpses.
*Well, guess not because three hits with a bat did it.
*Hey, now the lights are going out down the hall My Bloody Valentine (1981) style.
*Oh, snap, she just killed Skip!!!
*This is one weirdly designed school. Lots of windows and weird hallways.
*Why would she throw the spear Marty’s been using to try and kill her down at him? He only feel one story.
*Uh oh, looks like Marty doesn’t care what time April Fool’s Day ends.
*It is kind of cool to see Marty trip and not do the slasher teleport, though I’m sure there are elements of that somewhere.
*Did she just go back to the scene of the crime or is this a different bathroom than the bloody toilet?
*Adult Marty looks pretty damn creepy.
*Woah, he’s being haunted by his victims, that’s pretty cool. I can’t think of another movie I’ve seen like that.
*Was it a god damned dream?!
*Woah! Syringe to the eye! Doesn’t make up for the lame “it’s all a dream” ending though. I call bullshit.