Halloween Scene: Live Blogging Slaughter High (1986)

Man, how cool is this poster? And guess what? Aside from the text, it has zero to do with Slaughter High, a mostly boring movie that swipes from several better movies, has terrible acting, a cool looking slasher, some decent effects and one amazingly original idea ruined by a stupid ending. Instead of reviewing this movie, I’m just going to give you a look at the notes I took while watching. Also, if you want a more in-depth review, check out BC’s over at HMAD which I just re-read and it explains why so many of the actors talked funny. Hit the jump for the live blogging.

*”You wanna do it don’t you?” – girl to nerd “Me? I’m a sex machine” nerd Marty. This is exactly from Porky’s (1982) or Toxic Avenger (1984), two much better movies.

*Marty turning “Marty sucks” into “Marty fucks” is fairly clever.

*”April Fool’s! Where’s the beef?” They’re poking him with a stick! Jesus, they make the kids from Tromaville look like good Samaritans.

*They electrocute him, drag him across the bathroom floor naked AND give him a swirly all while filming the whole thing with what looks like the crew of a small budget film? that’s some cold shit.

*Now, this part with the coach giving the bullies shit is like Carrie (1976).

*Awesome, now they’re giving the nerd weed.

*Jesus, they just set this kid up to die in a chemical fire.

*So, there’s a time jump and now it’s reunion time.

*Hey, how come only 8 of us got invited to this reunion? DUH DUH DUH

*”Come on you guys, let’s parteeee.” Ugh.

*How the hell did the dude get the lockers in there?

*These are some truly shitty actors.

*They can’t even wink convincingly.

*This dude has to be retarded to fall for the funnel-in the pants trick. That was also in a movie, by the way, I just can’t place it.

*Why would they be going to their reunion in May/April anyway?

*Woah, the intestine shot is actually pretty cool.

*The Marty drawing on the wall is pretty amazing. It would be funny if it turned out that all the non-asshole kids actually really liked Marty and immortalized him forever, turning him into a folk hero.

*The part with the dude holding up the turned-on tractor is actually pretty cool. Oh, shit, the killer cut his arms! Deadsy!!!

*The plan to just put your backs to the wall and wait for Marty is actually a pretty good one. I’m sure they’ll follow it perfectly.

*April Fool’s Day ends at noon?

*Now they’ve just got to stay awake, like NOES (1984).

*They slept all the way till 11AM and Marty didn’t just kill them in their sleep?

*The Jester mask makes a cool silhouette.

*Is the blonde girl drowning in shit? Or is that tar?

*Seeing the jester mask outside in a letterman’s jacket is pretty cool. Especially in that extreme worm’s eye view.

*The Final Girl thinks it’s a good idea to return to the scene of the crime?

*Hey, I just discovered something else that grosses me out: old toilet bowls overflowing with blood (and presumably shit).

*Marty’s a very theatrical killer, like Michael Myers. He must have gotten pretty strong to be able to pose those corpses.

*Well, guess not because three hits with a bat did it.

*Hey, now the lights are going out down the hall My Bloody Valentine (1981) style.

*Oh, snap, she just killed Skip!!!

*This is one weirdly designed school. Lots of windows and weird hallways.

*Why would she throw the spear Marty’s been using to try and kill her down at him? He only feel one story.

*Uh oh, looks like Marty doesn’t care what time April Fool’s Day ends.

*It is kind of cool to see Marty trip and not do the slasher teleport, though I’m sure there are elements of that somewhere.

*Did she just go back to the scene of the crime or is this a different bathroom than the bloody toilet?

*Adult Marty looks pretty damn creepy.

*Woah, he’s being haunted by his victims, that’s pretty cool. I can’t think of another movie I’ve seen like that.

*Was it a god damned dream?!

*Woah! Syringe to the eye! Doesn’t make up for the lame “it’s all a dream” ending though. I call bullshit.

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