Jersey Housewives “Into The Lion’s Den”

With shows like Lost and Big Bang Theory coming to an end either for good or the season, I want to fill the void with some other shows. In this case it will be with my somewhat embarrassing addiction to Bravo’s The Real Housewives of New Jersey and New York. Even if you’re not watching either of these shows, I think anyone can enjoy at least the craziness of Jersey. There’s a completely crazy woman on this show named Danielle who really needs to be seen to be believed.

Before getting into all that nonsense though, I figured I’d let you know what happened with the rest of the episode. Not only did Teresea bring her new baby daughter home from the hospital, but she took her oldest daughter and what looked like 20 of her friends out for makeovers in a giant pink limo for her 9th birthday party. Being stuck in the car with that many little, probably spoiled girls? That’s my personal hell.

Meanwhile, Jaqueline went over to meet with her 20 year old daughter’s boyfriend’s mom and the pair go drunk on red wine. At one point it looked like they were going to make out. It was crazy andmade me cringe. Before that, two of Caroline’s kids when out to dinner with Jaqueline’s daughter and her boyfriend and the whole thing was awkward, but it was nice to see Albie grill the dude a little. Why his sister brought up marriage with them is beyond me though.

Earlier in the episode, Caroline’s youngest son’s friend comes over. This is the kid whose mom is seemingly friends with Danielle, the crazy woman. There’s a really awkward moment where Carline is talking to the kid about her relationship with his mom. Oh, also, she admits to shaving her face every morning.

Okay, so the big event of this episode was that there was this charity event being held at the Brownstone (which is co-owned by Dina and Caroline’s husbands). In the previous episode, Danielle (the crazy one) decided to get involved with this charity which is for a young girl with cancer. Of course, she’s all paranoid that being on their turf will be harmful to her somehow, so she brings in her parolee friend (who may have gone to prison for assaulting someone with a hammer) and Caroline’s kid’s friend’s mom. Oh, and we find out later, once they get to the Brownstone, that she also invited 10-20 other burly dudes who may or may not have paid for the event. Meanwhile, she’s talking to the mother of the child who the whole thing is for and telling her she’ll do anything for her, BUT SHE HAS NO MONEY! She’s just saying all this shit to be in the spotlight and making things about her.

But, that’s not all. Danielle things her entire entourage deserves their own big table. The main thug starts making some trouble, which gets the people working the Brownstone to put up another table, but Danielle never stops bitching about anything and eventually leaves, but she says she was kicked out, even though she wasn’t. There was also a moment before the mom-of-the-friend went into the event where Albie said “You’re in for a surprise because you’re over dressed,” or some such. The woman told Danielle who immediately became paranoid and later thought the whole table mishap was referenced by Albie.

All in all this woman is a complete narcissistic nut case. She thinks everything in the world revolves around her and that she needs friggin’ body guards INCLUDING THE LEADER OF THE HELL’S ANGELS TO GO TO A CHARITY EVENT. Aside from getting deservedly locked up, I hope all the people who defend her during this season watch the show and change their tune by watching all this craziness. Even with all that? I can’t wait til the next episode.

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