Wow. Just wow. I wish I could watch Jersey Housewives with my buddy Chad who’s studying to become a shrink just to get his professional opinion about Danielle. This broad is clearly off her rocker. I would guess that she’s got delusions of grandeur and has a highly paranoid personality, but I’m guessing there’s a lot more going on there.

This episode revolves around her almost completely with a few asides about how Teresa’s oldest daughter needs to lose her Jersey accent to book more acting gigs (hey, real quick, there’s no such thing as a BIG Christian Slater movie anymore) and Carline walking around her the butcher’s with her husband who wants to eat all the steak. He lost a bunch of weight between seasons and looks awesome.

Anyway, the episodes kicks off by continuing a day or two after the previous episode, in which Danielle went to a charity event for a little girl with cancer, brought a gaggle of hoodlums who didn’t pay, rose a stink, made the whole thing about her and left, claiming she was kicked out. We start with Jacquelin going to the salon where she runs into Kim G, the woman who invited Danielle to the charity event. I was glad to see that Kim was upset about the way Danielle and her hoods acted. Later, during a party she’s throwing for Danielle’s birthday, Kim and another woman tell her she needs to relax and stop thinking about those people. She, of course, flips out.

From there, the story jumps to Danielle getting some questionable text messages from Jacqueline’s daughter Ashley. There’s apparently been a whole back and forth on Facebook and via text messages. Now, don’t get me wrong, Jacqueline’s daughter is acting like an immature dumbass who gives 18-year-olds a bad name and doesn’t seem to take Danielle’s threats of calling the cops seriously, but DANIELLE’S PICKING FIGHTS WITH 18-YEAR-OLDS ON FACEBOOK! Gah! There’s a lot of people telling Ashley she’s dumb in this episode, but she does get some good digs in on Danielle.

The centerpiece of the episode, however is a meet-up between Dina and Danielle prompted by Dina’s need to cut things off with Danielle. In a pretty unintentionally hilarious scene, Daniella has taken her parolee buddy to try on suits (but, wait, doesn’t she not have any money? that’s what she said last episode in reference to the little girl with cancer’s charity) and gets the call from Dina there. Being the paranoid crazy person that she is, Danielle is worried about an ambush. And, I really don’t think she means she’s worried about getting verbally attacked, but physically. Okay, let me lay this down for you people. This show is taped by multiple cameras and tech people, the meet-up was at a public location, you’re talking about the most peaceful of the people you’re supposedly feuding with AND she’s a prominent member of society whose a fairly public figure THANKS TO THE SHOW YOU’RE BOTH ON. So, to alleviate her fears, Danielle asks her hoodlum friend to be read just in case. So what does he do? Waits in the parking lot like it’s a friggin’ gangland hit. THIS IS WHY EVERYONE THINGS YOU’RE A THUG.

The meeting itself goes about as well as you might expect, with Dina trying to calmly explain herself, that she doesn’t want to be around Danielle anymore, which basically means, “Stop calling me and inviting me to things and trying to be in my life because I want this to be done.” In theory it would have been a clean break. In reality, the crazy came out with Danielle not really listening to anything Dina saying and then, understandably, Dina getting upset. The episode ends with a To Be Continued, so we’ll see what happens next episode. I missed the preview for that episode, but I’m sure I’ll see it a hundred times before next Monday. The missus told me they teaser threatened that one of the housewives will be leaving the show for good. I would guess it’s Dina because her husband and daughter already seem to have opted out of the show and she doesn’t seem to like all the attention, but I would HOPE that it’s Danielle because she’s being locked up.

A question to the audience: Danielle’s clearly crazier than New York Housewives’ Kelly, but who do you think would win in a fight (without hoodlums of course).