Today’s movies have not one but two things in common. As you can tell by the titles, Revenge Of The Living Dead Girls and White Zombie are both tales of the undead, but they also seem to have inspired Rob Zombie. He obviously named his first band after the 1932 flick, but he also had a song called “Living Dead Girl” on his first solo album. I swear, I didn’t plan it that way, I was just looking for two zombie flicks. And man, what a weird pair of flicks, both of which I watched on Netflix Instant.

ROTLDG is actually a French flick that has been thankfully dubbed into English. Unlike a lot of dubbed movies I’ve seen, this one actually sounds okay and I didn’t realize it was dubbed at first. Instead of the scared inhuman voices you tend to hear on these kinds of things, it actually sounds like people are acting instead of reading lines.

Anyway, the story is mostly about corporate intrigue with a chemical company that accidentally creates zombies, but only three of them. This woman has a big complicated plan to bribe the company for a bunch of money and part of said plan involves putting some chemical into a truck filled with milk that’s supposed to make people sick, but instead kills them and they come back as zombies. Why no one else drank from the milk truck, I’m not so sure. Anyway, the zombie broads walk around kind of slowly, but less shambling and more casual. They go after people who wronged them though I’m not sure how they know who was involved in their poisoning. Check out the unembeddable trailer here.

The zombie chicks also swim for no reason and can also drive cars, but they also capture the prostitute who’s been helping the scheming woman, rip her clothes off, then take their clothes off and do weird sex stuff with her before stabbing her in the lady parts with a sword. Whoa, that part was crazy. I cringed and even looked away. Not cool, but it had nothing on the scene in the shower with the pregnant lady. I don’t think I’ve been that grossed out in a while.

Again, ROTLDG isn’t a good movie by any stretch of the imagination, the effects were kind of shocking, which I wasn’t expecting from the goofy cover (for the record, the naked zombie ladies look like that in the face, but regular in the body, it’s weird). Overly complicated, but good effects and weird kills. Worth watching with some friends and some beers.

However, I did not have any fun watching Bela Lugosi’s White Zombie. First off, the sound on the Netflix Instant version was SO quiet I couldn’t hear anything. I had the volume on the TV up to the mid 40s, usually it’s in the 20s. That could be because it’s an 87 year old movie, I’m not sure , but it kind of ruined the watching experience. The plot to this movie is a lot like I Walked With A Zombie which I watched recently. A dude moves to a place in the West Indies and his wife dies, so he turns to Lugosi to help bring her back which she does and just looks glassy eyed the whole time. There’s an ending with a lot of dudes falling off a cliff lemmings-style.

Usually I can watch a flick while working or blogging without much trouble, but I had pretty much zero idea what the hell was going on in the movie. They’re in a big house, the woman dies, she gets brought back, she looks creepy, the husband confronts Lugosi. The movie’s just over an hour long, but it feels like I can explain the whole thing in just a few words, then it’s probably not that good of a movie, right? I guess it gets props for being the first in line, but it seems like a lot of other filmmakers have done it MUCH better. Oh, also, instead of getting the sound of a bird screeching, they instead got a woman to scream every time. It’s awful.