After last week’s hilariously dumb episode of The Challenge: Rivals II, we were treated to one of the least interesting of the bunch so far. You know how some episodes focus on a lot of house tension and how difficult it is for a group of people getting along together in these crazy situations? Well, this one was about how clueless Theresa is about, well, pretty much everything.
She starts the episode off complaining about Diem…to Diem’s partner Aneesa. She then switched gears and said much of the same with her own partner Jasmine. Theresa’s the kind of Challenge contestant who apparently doesn’t understand how the show works. She thinks it’s clever and original to say things like, “No one’s got my back but my partner” and “Everyone here’s out there for themselves.” I understand that you can get caught up in the augmented reality of these shows when you’re filming, but how can you possibly stand letting yourself say such mundane, silly things as if you’re spitting gold from your gaping maw every time you open it?
Oh, Jonna and Jordan are kind of talking or something. You can tell this is semi-important because immediately after showing them hanging out, we jump right to the challenge called Frenemies which is basically The Newlywed Game, but with one teammate suspended 30 feet in the air over water. Half the women are asked to answer questions and are then hung up over the water. The other teammate then has to guess how the suspended player answered the question. After getting two wrong, you fall. The first team to hit the water automatically goes to The Jungle while the last one is safe. You know, the usual.
Since it’s a women’s challenge, they go first. Theresa gets to pick the order and places Diem and Aneesa at the front of the line. We start off with a pretty mundane “What’s Your Best Body Part,” question that stumps a few people. The problem for some of the teams is that, since they’re still rivals, they’re not on the same page with just about anything. As such, it’s not a big shocker when Jemmye gets the first and second questions wrong and Camila falls, dragging them both into the Jungle. Later questions include “Who’s The Biggest Fake Still In The House?” “Who Needs The Most Attention In The House?” and “Who’s Most Likely To Get Arrested For Indecent Exposure?” As it turns out, Emily and Paula are still super-in synch and won for what seems like the millionth time, beating Cara Maria and Cooke by one question.
For the men, the questions are different which made this nearly complete waste of time slightly entertaining. CT lets Wes fall because he doesn’t want to answer “Which Girl Is The Trashiest?” Smart man. Leroy and Ty wind up walking away with the cash and control of the order in the next episode. In theory, this challenge would have created a lot of bad blood, but it didn’t really seem to play out that way. Sure Jemmye was surprised when several people called her fake and said she needs attention, but overall, it’s not like everyone went back to the house shellshocked.
In fact, the game had almost no noticeable impact on the rest of the episode because everything was so focused on Theresa trying to get the guys to vote Diem and Aneesa into the Jungle both because she doesn’t like Diem, but also to deflect votes from herself. I mean, I get it, on some level Theresa knows she’s got no real game or business being on this show and she loves attention, so she spends as much time as she can being loud and causing a ruckus, but it winds up not doing much of anything, even though she thinks she’s got Jordan and Marlon on their side. And yet, I still had to suffer through an episode with this fool talking to me for the majority of the run time.
Let’s cut to the voting. For some reason, Leroy and Ty kick things off by throwing in Diem and Aneesa. They’re followed by CT and Wes who vote for Theresa and Jasmine literally in unison, which was amazing. Johnny and Frank stick to the plan they’ve been going with since the beginning and go for Cooke and Cara Maria. Then, when it’s up to Jordan and Marlon, Jordan does this whole speech and eventually tosses Theresa and Jasmine’s names out. This is hilarious because Theresa is shocked that someone on one of these games could be shady, but as Jordan explains to camera, Diem and Aneesa have had their back since day one, which trumps a silly little alliance talk that went down a few minutes before voting. Smart play, gents!
To avoid any possible anger or wraith, Knight and Preston completely deflect by voting for Nany and Jonna. So there it is, a Jungle of Jemmye and Camila against Theresa and Jasmine. Could this be any more of a “battle of the useless?” This season seems particularly lacking when it comes to female teams who can actually compete.
Anyway, the Jungle is called Catch 22. Both members of the team are running on treadmills and need to throw one of 22 balls to their partner. That catcher not only needs to snag the ball, but drop it in a nearby barrel. If you fall into the water (of course there’s water, mud more accurately) you’re done and the other team can keep going until they either beat the score or fall in the water themselves. Whoever has the most balls in the barrels wins.
At first it seems like Theresa and Jasmine are doing well, but Jasmine proves what we all assume: she’s got very little physical skill and winds up tripping and falling into the muck. This gives Jemmye and Camilia the opportunity to take the advantage which they do. In the second round, Jasmine starts throwing way too many balls, which makes Theresa fall. Once again, the other team surpasses their ball count and walks away victorious.
Again, this is a battle of who could care less. I don’t buy what Ty said to camera about this time offering Paula and Emily a run for their money. There’s just no way. They might be more physically capable than I thought, but they both lose their cool quickly and still seem to hate each other. Then again, there’s probably only going to be two more female eliminations (if my finger-counted math is right) and this game still has teams like Jonna and Nany who, well, are right up there with Theresa and Jasmine.