Live Blogging Nowhere To Run (1993)

I recently got a smart phone and have been having a lot of fun with it. Since my laptop’s still a mess and I haven’t been able to replace it yet, I figured I’d be able to live blog again using my phone’s internet access capabilities. As some of you might have noticed, I accidentally posted this without the intro and the spell checks/notes/grammar fixes/links a few days ago. I’m still getting used to this whole phone thing. I’m not sure if I’ll finish Nowhere to Run because it was pretty boring, but we’ll see. I bet the end will be fun. As far as background info goes, the movie stars Jean-Claude Van Damme and, uh, that’s all you really need to know. Oh, I also did a full live blog of Band of the Hand (1986) last night using my phone and it’s nowhere to be found which is kind of infuriating because that was a pretty fun and completely weird movie. Oh well, here’s Nowhere to Run, enjoy.

We’ll see how this works with the new phone.

Heh, the other Culkin’s in this mug.

Weird ominous pounding on the convict bus.

Already feels like a Fugitive sequel and I’m only minutes in.

I think I like this bus flipping scene better.

Aw JCVD knocked that cop out, uncool.

Gotta appreciate how quickly they get the story started.

Ohhh, his friend orchestrated the whole thing…then gets shot. Bye bye Billy.

Gotta love the nosy shopkeep.

Why is he wearing a suit in the woods?

I wish this would turn into a slasher movie, how cool would it be to see JCVD fight a slasher?

Is that Lost Highway’s Patricia Arquette? [Haha, nope, it’s Rosanna who was definitely not in Lost Highway.]

Ooh voyer strip teas–BOOBS!

JCVD stole the salt? And now culkin wants salt. Oh sweet IRONY!

Wait why is the house shaking? I missed the little girl’s mumbled explanation.

Haha his name’s Mookie? He has a gun?! Awesome.

It’s not easy to watch a movie, type with my fingers and drink.

Oh, I love when people leave recordings in case they get killed, maybe if you prepared for your impending altercation instead of recording something ominous and foreshadowing you’d still be alive.

Ah, the shaking is from the mines.

And, of course, the mine owner is a dick, I’m smelling confrontation!

What!? Is the miner’s 2nd in command magic? That’s one hell of a card trick.

I can’t tell if JCVD knows this woman or will just end up helping her because he’s such a nice guy even though he seems tough as nails.

I assume he and the kid will become friends and JCVD will be mistaken as an imaginary friend.

The red ball down the stairs bit is worthy of horror, but not my Mini Monster movie.

“You like boobs? Boobs are gross, totally gross.” – Culkin after walking up on JCVD looking at a skin mag in the woods.

Kid, never approach a naked foreigner in a pond.

“Oh God you have to ruin everything.” [No idea what this refers to, maybe Culkin talking to his sister?]

“I’ll tell mom you smoke.” Mookie to his sister. [No idea if this is real or just him being a weirdo.]

Holy shit, I didn’t see that window-break coming. Scared me.

Fight fight fight!

That dude with the meat hook wasn’t messing around. Yet another horror element.

This movie’s pretty boring after playing Stranglehold for the 360.

They’re totally gonna bone.

Has no one heard about the massive number of escaped prisoners or seen them on TV?

Yeesh, nothing like having a gun pointed at you when you’re naked.

I hate to say it, but Patricia looks rough. [Yeesh, sorry Rosanna.]

“He’s got a big penis.” – sister/daughter. “It’s an average penis.” – Rosanna. “You saw it already?” – sister/daughter. Hahahaha.

Jeez there’s still a full hour left.

Do people really refuse awesome offers for their homes or is that just a movie thing?

I recognize the old guy “She’s fucking us up.” [Old dude is the same as the mine owner…I think.]

The old dude’s pretty damn creepy, maybe this is kind of a horror movie.

Boo, last I checked fighting a fire is nowhere near as cool as fighting 20 dudes, yawn. Maybe I should have watched a Jackie Chan movie instead.

That’s a pretty awesome way to keep the propane from exploding. [Haha, again, I can’t remember what this refers to.]

Uh oh i’m getting sleepy….

[After falling asleep]

Time for sleep.

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