Jersey Shore (a.k.a. Real World Jersey) 1-7-10

After achieving hit heights I never expected two days ago (I got up to 398!), I’ve plummeted to some pretty depressing depths. Apparently more of my ego is wrapped up in my hit counter than I originally thought. Ah well, hopefully yet another Jersey Shore post will bring things back up.

*Ah yes, the last episode ended with Vinny making out with his boss/landlord’s girl.

*Haha “These kids are like robots, gym, tan, laundry.” – Vinny. I can’t believe they go do laundry every day, that’s nuts.

*”I could see it it was basketball, pool, beach. Those things are fun.” – Vinny. He’s definitely my favorite cast member.

*Oh man, Vinny’s gotta work the next day with the bossman, he’s trying to be all sheepish.

*”I don’t usually feel bad about taking someone’s girl because that’s the girl’s fault.” – Vinny. Oh Vinny.

*Mike’s sister Melissa has a cartoon voice.

*Oh man, Vinny talked to Mike’s situation for 45 minutes. Dude, chillax. Mike thinks Vinny’s harmless and that Mike’s afraid of him.

*Oh shit, here’s the first Jersey Shore/Michael Cera promo with Pauly blowing out his hair. SICK! “I really want to battle now, I’m craving a battle.” – Cera.

*Haha, Vinny doesn’t like Mike’s sister because he says she looks like Mike. I think she looks cute. “She’s Mike without a six-pack.” – Ronnie. Hey, he was funny for a second!

*Aww everyone wants Ronnie and Sammi to hang out, but why? They’re LAME.

*Now Vinny’s starting to take a shine to Mike’s sister. There you go, slick.

*”If one think leads to another, I’m not not going to tell him to get off.” – Snooki regarding her friend. She’s super romantic.

*Haha, drunk Ronnie’s giving Sammi shit. Doofus.

*I think it’s funny that

*”You’re acting like every other Jersey Girl.” – Ronnie. Haha, now it’s a bad thing.

*Now JWOWW’s putting make-up and spray tan on Michael Cera. THIS IS AWESOME!!!

*This is awesome. Snooki tells the dude she wanted to hook up with that he could go hook up with girls. It was supposed to be a test and he bounced with a quickness!

*Haha, Sammi’s drunkenly explaining it to Snooki and Snooki’s like “What the hell are you talking about?” HAHAHAH Then Ronnie comes in tells her to stop talking to her. Then Ronnie says that he’s done everything for Sammi! Like what? Be boring!

*Nice, now Mike’s meeting up with the girl from a few episodes back who was with “the grenade.” This is the girl he almost got with and her friend came in and blew up his spot.

*Ronnie feels dangerous talking to Sammi. LIke weird and scary. “This is strike three.” Huh? DOUCHE! Then he goes downstairs and says he’s “back.” Why do these guys say “creep” when they’re talking about getting on girls? They’re all saying it!!!

*Watching Cera going through Ed Hardy shirts and put them on over his button up flannel is amazing.

*Aww, Snooki’s defending Ronnie. Hilarious.

*Shucks, Ronnie leaves the club and goes home to make up with Sammi. Dude, you are LAME.

*Haha, so the girl from two weeks ago comes back to the house with two other girls, one of whom is large. So Snooki goes out to yell at them. The chick in the blue shirt is wearing a shirt and sweatpants. Classy. So Snookie’s telling they gotta leave and the girl calls her a bitch.

*The grenade from before throws a drink at Snooki, so she starts talking even more shit and the hippo (their words not mine) goes after Snooki, more to come after the break.

*A shit, Cera’s learning how to dance with Vinny, Pauly and Ronnie. Where’s Mike? These might be the best commercials ever.

*Okay, fights back on. Now the girl who Mike was going to hook up with is trying to start some shit. The hippo chic keeps trying to charge. These girls are nuts. They should be arrested. The cops are there. Yup, the girl who was gonna hook up with Mike got arrested.

*”Snooks gets hit in the face again. She needs to take some karate classes or something…or learn to duck.” – Pauly.

*Now Snooki is pissed off at Mike for bringing these girls back. But she hits him with an inflatable mallet, he picks her up, then she grabs his balls and he pile drives her on a Love Sack. Hilarious.

*Vinny’s parents are visiting after a crazy ass night. Should be good. This is like when my family would visit the fraternity house and would be all loud on a Saturday or Sunday morning. Holy crap, he’s got a gigantic family visiting.

*Soon enough, this show will cross over with Real Housewives of New Jersey.

*Vinny’s folks brought a ton of food. It’s really funny how close Jews and Italians are.

*Snooki thinks a good woman should serve food, clean up and then eat alone. What up feminists! Then her mom cleans the house. Ugh.

*Alright, so they’re at a bar and some dude’s giving Pauly shit. Once again, JWOWW and Snooki are dancing, when no one else is.

*While there, Snooki gives Sammi and Ronnie some shit for not hanging out. Mike and Pauly head back to the house and call whoever to get girls to come over and hang out at the house.

*As Sammi and Ronnie leave the bar, the dude who was giving Pauly shit is walking near them and is giving them shit. Sammi decides to start giving the guy’s girlfriend shit. Sammi walks away kinda and the dude’s girlfriends starts swatting at Ronnie. Eventually, Ronnie’s on top of the dude wailing on him and both girls are doing their best to pull the guys apart. It’s sad, ridiculous and hilarious. Thank you MTV.

*Mike and Pauly run to try and help him, but they’re way too late, a bouncer stops them. Afterwards, Ronnie’s super pissed because he blames Sammi for the fight because she ran her mouth. Now, Sammi’s separated walking down the street and they’re making it look and sound like a horror movie.

*Watching two drunk assholes drunkly arguing is ridiculous. He pushed her like a little, not down the stairs! My girl knocks me around like that on a regular basis, no big deal.

*These two are fucking ridiculous. They deserve each other.

3 thoughts on “Jersey Shore (a.k.a. Real World Jersey) 1-7-10

  1. This show constantly surprises me. Like, I’m constantly surprised how each episode can be so much better than the last. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a sequel – how awesome would “Jersey Shore Takes Miami” be?

    1. You’re completely right Jimi. More crazy things happened in the last episode than half of the last season of Real World. I’ve head there’s going to be a second season, but instead of bringing in new people, they’re bringing back the original cast. Should be fun!

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