Jersey Housewives “Play At Your Own Risk”

Whew, I really should have taken notes for this episode as a ton of stuff happened. We kick off by picking up where the previous episode ended: Dina trying to tell Danielle she doesn’t want the crazy lady in her life. Of course, things escalate and it just turns into shouting. There’s some back and forth with Dina sending Danielle an email to say what she really wanted to say, which sounds heartfelt. Of course, when Danielle reads it to her friends (who obviously don’t know both sides of the story) they all think Dina’s a crazy person. Oh, how wrong you are.

Teresa’s pretty much a non-entity this episode. They just throw her in to rag on Danielle. Yeah, great, we get it you don’t like her. Frankly, they used Caroline the same way this episode, so they don’t really factor in.

Jacqueline pops up a few times. She’s apparently friendly with Danielle’s friend Kim G (the woman whose son is friends with Caroline’s son, but isn’t friends with Caroline herself). Everyone thinks Kim G is just trying to play both sides of the game, but I think she’s just trying to get both sides. Like, she’s stuck with Danielle or scared to go against her and wants to confirm how crazy she is, perhaps? Or maybe she’s just curious. Jacqueline informs Kim that Daniell’s been sending messages to Dina which resulted in Dina needing to cut her out of her life.

The other time Jacqueline factors in is when some of the guys get together at her house for a poker game. Caroline’s son is there, Teresa’s husband, Jacqueline’s husband, a guy who used to date Danielle and is friends with Teresa’s husband and Jacqueline’s daughter’s boyfriend (Jacqueline’s husband dropped over $500 at the Italian deli for the party!). Before the party starts, Jacqueline asks Steve (the guy who dated Danielle) about this sex tape scandal. Danielle said that he taped them having sex and tried to sell it, but Steve says she recorded herself with herself and then sent that to him. She then dropped her case because she didn’t have one. Seems plausible to me.

Oh, so back to Jacqueline. She factors in at the party because it’s at her house and the boys are testing Ashley’s boyfriend. But, what ends up happening is that Ashley freaks out like a 2 year old because Jacqueline compares her to her Grandma, who is apparently fat. This sends Ashley into a tantrum. She backtalks Jacqueline and Jacqueline kicks her out of the house! Pretty awesome, Ashley’s a dummy.

Ugh, watching Danielle’s friends try to convince her to be sexy and her acting like it’s the furthest thing from her mind is just gross. Even worse is watching her try on lingerie (the ass/thong shot almost made me gag). Even worse than THAT? Watching her ply her two decade year old stripping moves with her friends at a class in front of her thug posse. Yuck. Also, you were never getting $20s, 50s and 100s thrown at you unless it was to get you to bounce.

WHY CAN’T DANIELLE SAY WOMEN INSTEAD OF ALWAYS SAYING WOMAN FOR THE PLURAL?!!! It drives me NUTS.

The big finale of the episode comes when Dina tells the audience she’s no longer going to be on the show because she doesn’t want to be around Danielle. This doesn’t really come as much of a shock, I figured it was either Dina not wanting to deal with the bullshit anymore or Danielle flipping out and getting arrested. I still remember there being teaser footage the implied there was going to be a physical fight between Danielle and someone else. On the Watch What Happens Live post-show Dina said she didn’t want the negativity around her anymore and that it was worse than it seemed on TV. That’s also why she didn’t want her daughter being on this season. I like Dina and will miss her, though it looks like there will be plenty of drama without her (she was the peaceful one most of this season).

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