AXE isn’t known for their subtle ad campaigns. The company that used to tell you that if you used their body spray is now playing coy (just barely) with a new “detailer.” Here’s the 15-second shortest version:

And the 30 second version, the one I saw tonight during the Real World New Orleans reunion episode:

Finally, the much (probably too) long 2 minute 45 second version.

I’ve got no problem with AXE playing with innuendo, I’m no prude. I just wish the longer version wasn’t so one-note. I also think it would be funny if instead of playing a former tennis pro (more ball jokes, WAKA WAKA WAKA) Jaime Pressly either played herself or her character from Poison Ivy 3 (my first interaction with the actress and the cause of my crush on her).

Here’s my problem with the commercials: that thing looks freaking painful. There’s even a note that comes up in all versions of the commercial when sports equipment is being rubbed particularly roughly that says, and I quote, “Take care when using on sensitive areas.” In other words, don’t rub your testicles with this thing as hard as you would a pair of golf balls. I’m not ashamed to admit that I just use a luffa and would recommend that to anyone over this ridiculous implement.

Hey, on the other hand though, seeing this thing in a man’s bathroom might be the prefect indicator to a woman that 1) he doesn’t know how to clean himself well, 2) he really REALLY wants to be touched or 3) he’s not secure enough with himself to have a weird spongy thing hanging in his shower (mine’s green). That should work as an immediate signal for any smart woman to get out of that house ASAP, in my opinion.