Jersey Shore (a.k.a. The Real World Jersey) 12-31-09

As I mentioned in my post with the SNL Jersey Shore Weekend Update video, I missed out on the New Year’s Eve episode of Jersey Shore, which was the first one since the Snooki punch episode. This episode had a ridiculous amount of stuff going on. You’ve got the aftermath of the punch, Ronnie’s parents visiting, the gang going to F Cove, JWOWW getting into a fight, Pauly DJing and Vinny leaving a club with their boss/landlord’s girl. With so much craziness, here’s the live blog. Hit the jump for the full account with pictures (one of the benefits of watching the episodes after their air date)! If you’re looking for even more Jersey Shore posts, click here.

*We’re picking up right where the last episode left off with the blacked-out punch.

*Why the hell would the dude sign the release forms to let his face be seen after punchign a girl in the face?

*”I’m just lying there like ‘Yo, what the f#ck just happened?'” – Snooki

*I’m kind of surprised the guys didn’t get to him and beat his ass faster.

*Now the dudes are pissed with no one to take it out on. It’s probably a good thing the cops are walking with them.

*Way to go Vinny, the best way to calm things down is to walk into a small room and start yelling “Calm down!”

*Gotta love that Mike’s still trying to lay some pipe even though his friend just got punched.

*Now Ronnie’s blaming Mike, that’s messed up. What’s even more messed up is that all those dudes left her and JWOWW there to walk home by themselves.

*Did Snooki just say the reason she got punched in the face is so that her roommates would know she loves them and vice versa?

*And now Ronnie’s parents are visiting. BO-RING.

*Sammi wants to look good for her parents, which means she’s going to take forever. Meanwhile, the parents are getting pissed waiting.

*Haha, Ronnie’s mom wants to go back to the bar and take the dude out who hit Snooki.

*And now Sammi doesn’t look all that done-up.

*Haha, watching Snooki try and drink is pretty funny. For the record, I do feel bad for her.

*It’s gotta be freaky for Snooki knowing the dude is out there, like a horror movie, finding out from that damn duck phone nonetheless.

*Of course, Pauly says he’s doing the club owner a favor for him asking them if he can DJ there.

*Snooki’s a vet tech, she saves animals she doesn’t kill them. Of course, they’re not animals and I’m pretty sure she’s not a vegetarian.

*Wow, it’s kinda shitty that Sammi’s giving Mike crap for not cleaning up after cooking for two hours. She didn’t do anything. That’s nonsense.

*Of course, Ronnie picks the plate up and “saves the day” like a little bitch.

*Haha, “F Cove” sounds like a place one of these dudes would ask a girl if they’d want to go to as a euphemism for sex.

*Where did they get this boat?

*Wow, Pauly’s got the full-on Italian flag themed tattoo on his back.

*Why is Ronnie freaking out about leaving? Now he’s going after her like a beast, picking her up and taking dumping her in the water. That’s pretty messed up. She wasn’t the only one not in the boat, yo.

*Gotta like how Mike’s saying that with getting so many numbers you don’t always get a lot calling you back.

*”They’re smart and everything, but they still want to hook up. They’re not like whores.” – Pauly

*Oh many, Vinny’s striking out like crazy this night. This might be why you don’t see him hanging with Mike and Pauly much.

*Meanwhile the others are at a club. They’re saying they’re on a short leash when they mean they’re on a short fuse.

*Uhoh, some girl called Snooki fat, which makes JWOWW throw her drink in her face. Dudes are all over the place pulling these girls apart. Snooki wants to know how she can get in? REALLY?! YOU JUST GOT HIT IN THE FACE!!!

*Haha, one of the girls tells Mike that all the girls are talking about him on the shore, calling Pauly “The Problem” and Pauly’s all excited.

*I hope these girls realize how ironic it is that they’re getting all excited about fighting when they were on the opposite side of things like two days earlier.

*Aww, Mike’s getting rejected again.

*It’s hilarious that all the dudes are flabergasted about her boyfriend being so into her after cheating on him.

*JWOWW’s wearing something that looks like a Black Canary costume.

*It”s pretty lame that Sammi and Ronnie are leaving before Pauly’s set is over.

*There is SO much Ed Hardy in this room.

*It’s pretty hilarious that Vinny ends up making out with the boss’s/landlord’s girl. She totally knows what’s going on because he tells her he’s living in the house. THEN they make out on a random car. Amazing.

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