Season Premiere: Real Housewives Of New Jersey Season Two

Boy oh boy gang, it’s getting harder and harder to watch the few versions of Real Housewives I once liked. Maybe I’m changing and getting less and less interested in watching jerkass, vapid women with no sense of the real world bitch and moan about, well anything, but it seems like these episodes are getting more and more annoying. Anyway, even with my reservations about the New York “housewives” I was still looking forward to Jersey even though I generally dislike the place. The first season was pretty interesting with new comer Danielle trying to work her way into the four way friendship between sisters Caroline and Dina, their sister-in-law Jacqueline and friend Teresa. Things got wildly out of control by the end of the season with Jacqueline trying to defend her friend Danielle as more and more dirt got dug up on her, culminating in the season finale with the now famous table throw from Teresa and the tear-stained reunion that implied some pretty shady goings-on on Danielle’s part.

So, with the new season I was curious to see where things kicked off and in the grand tradition they did so with a birth, that of Jacqueline’s son. We also got to see a very pregnant Teresa making nearly 200 jars of tomato sauce with her parents and children which was a sweet moment and also Jacqueline dealing with her 18-year-old daughter moving out of the house and living with her 22-year-old boyfriend who admitted to having sex with her (or more accurately having protected sex with her). Awkward. Oh Caroline’s husband also lost a ton of weight and he looks great. Her daughter is dating her brother’s best friend and they held a $1,000 a plate dinner at their house benefit for the police that ended the episode. Meanwhile, Dina played with her creepy hairless cats (the missus finds them adorable, but shaved/hairless cats give me the willies).

Oh, and Danielle acted crazy. Seriously, if the show just focused on the four women who are actually friends, you’d get a look at privileged women who actually seem to have pretty good heads on their shoulders. I get it, there’d be a lack of drama. But maybe life has enough drama without introducing a crazy person to the mix. You’d think that Danielle was some kind of Real Housewivse Of New Jersey super fan the way she spouts off lines from the table-throwing dinner. I can almost guarnatee she’s got the episodes running on loop in her house for a dew hours a day. This woman claims to be looking to forgive, but she seems to make more threats than anything. If these women were so terrible to you, ignore them. Or do like the priest she visits (and seems to completely ignore) and pray for them.

Instead, she finds out about Caroline’s party, gets her kids in the car and starts driving there, again repeating lines from the show like crazy. You’ve never heard the word “garbage” said so many times in an hour long show, even Dirty Jobs. It’s actually kind of terrifying because her children are telling her the whole way that she’s being crazy, telling her not to jump out of the car and confront Caroline for not inviting her to her party (that’s what you do with people you’re not friends with). After raving like a lunatic she finally listens to her children and turns around to go home. I’m curious how far away she lives from the rest of them.

Anyway, I’m sure Danielle will be around until she gets into her seemingly inevitable confrontation with Teresa which will hopefully be about Danielle getting in trouble and not Teresa. I do have to admit, Teresa’s incessant digs at Danielle were getting annoying. Just let it go, you’ve got a great family and a baby on the way. Worry about the important stuff! The Danielle bitchfest at the party was petty and annoying to. You’re just fueling her crazy rage!

So far, I don’t feel like the bile filling up inside me like I do when I see Jill on New York Housewives because Danielle just comes off as a crazy person who should be pitied and not hated (also, you know, I don’t actually know these people, they’re just characters) whereas Jill just seems like a mean person. Here’s something I never thought I’d write: keep it classy New Jersey!

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