Jersey Housewives “Bubbies Gone Bad” Plus Danielle On Watch What Happens Live

Like with last week‘s episode had a LOT going on. Danielle has surgery on a faulty implant, Caroline deals with her son not being allowed to continue with law school, Jacqueline talks with her daughter abut moving back in with her and her husband and Teresa throws a big housewarming party a year after she’s been in the place. The ongoing plot of the season continues to be Danielle though, for the most part, she’s just dealing with her surgery throughout the episode, which isn’t anything to laugh at. However, her appearance on Watch What Happens Live was hilarious because this woman is nuts! Read along with the live blog if you’re so inclined. The girls get together for a lunch and talk about missing Dina. Teresa continues to pretty much only say bad things about Danielle. I get that that’s the whole point of the season, but she’s sounding like a mean broken record.

I wonder if this means the other three women won’t be filming with Danielle now.

Whoa, Danielle’s got a bad breast implant. Crazy bitchiness aside, that’s rough. Wow, the plastic surgeon needs to call in an even bigger expert.

Caroline’s daughter Lauren is in beauty school and it’s avant guard day. They’re really stretching for Caroline to be interesting this season which is crazy because I think she could have her own show.

This is the first time that Jacqueline and Ashley have spoken since the poker game last episode. Ashley says she feels bad about it, but she doesn’t sound like she means it, just that she’s saying what she thinks her mom wants to hear.

Ashley says she wants to come home. They say she can move back in if she wants to follow the rules.

Teresa hired an incredibly annoying and caustic party planner for her house warming party named Elvira. The lady can’t believe that Teresa cleans and takes care of the house all by herself.

Ashley wants to move in, but she wants to move her curfew back from midnight. Chris suggests 1 during the week and 2 on Friday and Saturday. I’ve got to call bullshit on this. After I graduated high school my parents got rid of my curfew. She is 18 after all. She’s moving back in.

Albie’s back from law school. He got a D+ but he’s got a learning disability. He can’t read as quickly as other people. He’s got a 1.913 and he needs a 2.0, which means the school doesn’t want him back. He tried to tell them he’s got a disability and they suggest he goes after a different career. Caroline’s husband agrees that Albie needs to fight through.

Jacqueline and Teresa go to Kim D’s place to buy post-baby clothes. Teresa’s giving Kim D shit for going to Danielle’s luncheon. Kim D says it’s business. Even though she doesn’t want drama, Teresa decides to invite Kim D to the party.

For Danielle’s surgery, they’re taking out the bad breast implant, cleaning up some of the scar tissue and putting a new implant in. During the surgery, the plastic surgeon says it’s the biggest deformity he’s ever seen. He’s going to have trouble reforming the nipple and getting it in the right spot.

At a Manzo family dinner, they’re having a good time, but Albie’s sensitive and everyone’s ribbing everyone. I feel bad for the guy.
God, Teresa’s taste is SO tacky and obvious: gold and animal prints all the way.

This Elvira broad is so friggin’ annoying.

Teresa didn’t want Kim G going because she’s friends with Danielle, but Jacqueline is her neighbor and felt bad, so Teresa said she could come.

I hate the saying “I’m not gonna lie.” It makes me assume that lying is your default function and you’re making a big deal out of the fact that what you just said or are about to say is not a lie.

Jeez, Teresa’s house warming party has a red carpet. Sheesh. Why are there Playboy bunny waitresses?

I half expect Danielle to show up all drugged up after her surgery being crazy.

Wow, there really are breakdancers and firebreathers there, I thought Teresa was just being funny.
While saying thanks to everyone, Teresa brings Caroline and Jacqueline up to thank them. Then Kim D randomly comes up and starts babbling. Caroline has the line of the episode “If one of my kids did that, I’d choke them.”

Kim D is annihilated and talking smack about Danielle for starting shit with Ashley.

“She’s like parsley, she’s everywhere.” – Caroline RE: Danielle

Caroline jumps in to tell Kim D and everyone not to talk about Danielle. Then Kim G comes up to her and says that Jacqueline is obsessed with Danielle. Caroline says she doesn’t want to talk about it and Kim G says she doesn’t want to talk about it. Huh?

THEN, Kim G goes up to Jacqueline and brings it up. “I don’t mean upset, what do I mean?” – Kim G. “Angry?” – Jacqueline. “Yeah, angry.” – Kim G

The next episode looks CRAZY with all the women getting together at a party and Teresa giving Danielle shit.

Uh oh, Danielle’s on Watch What Happens Live. I’m gonna hold off a bit on the live blog then. Andy reveals “unadulterated” footage of Danielle’s breast augmentation surgery with Grandma Wrinkles on it. Whoa, this gets awkward.

He then brings up Ramona saying she doesn’t want to take photos with Danielle. Danielle says it was she who didn’t want to be photographed with Ramona.

Gah, then he brings up the sex tape and she says she didn’t release it herself and that she hasn’t seen it.

Danielle says she can afford stuff because she has jobs now. Everything she says is super awkward and Andy doesn’t seem to be pulling punches as much as you’d think.

A caller asks her how she can be a good role model when her kids keep her in check. She goes on about everything her kids have accomplished, but I’m gonna say that kids can grow up completely normal and succeed in spite of their insane parents.

She says she’s never hooked up with Danny.

She says she really needs protection, but not anymore.

She says Dina left for reasons aside from her and that she will tell the real truth at the reunion. This broad is crazy. Completely delusional.

I love how Andy doesn’t seem to be taking her seriously. Danielle calls her song “a tortured lullaby.” Oi.

Housewives fan Ben Wiener called in to tell Andy that he’s going to camp and doesn’t have a question for Danielle. Awesome. Well done Wiener. Haha, he’s getting fan mail.

Someone asks if she’s pushing her daughter to

YES! Someone asks why she says woman instead of women. She doesn’t know, just says she does. Ugh.

In response to whether she’s reevaluated her friendship with Kim G, Danielle responds “who?”

Danielle says she invited two people to the Brownstone and a bunch more came. Ooh, she’s also saying that Kim G set her up by telling her what Chris said. She responds with another “who” when Kim D is brought up.

Haha, of course, Danielle likes Kelly from NY Housewives. She likes Jill too.

You’ve got to wonder about the people who are always saying that editing makes them look bad.

What’s the song called? You’re Close? Yo Close? Your Clothes? It’s a torch song. She’s not as terrible as you’d expect. Definitely more talent than LuAnn. Of course, the woman playing piano and singing is much better. She was introduced as a lesbian superstar keyboard player.

Andy’s trying to figure out if they’re together. Danielle just makes a joke. He’s completely blown away by Danielle actually being good and claiming to have written the song.

HAHAHA, just before the end of the show Ramon tweets that Danielle is a liar and that she has turned down photos with Danielle. Awesome.

Double awesome: Dina won the Mazel of the week and Andy backs it up.

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