Jersey Housewives “Posche Spite”

Tonight’s episode was pretty much what everyone had been waiting for all season. I mean, what’s the point of building up all this Danielle drama if there’s not going to be a confrontation, right? Otherwise there’s no catharsis and you’d be left feeling rage that such an obviously crazy woman has been allowed to run her mouth all season. Well, in true Bravo fashion, we don’t get all of the confrontation. They episode has this crazy, awkward, (I’m embarrassed to say) somewhat pulse pounding build up, then…just a few minutes leading up to the big confrontation with next episode looking to be completely insane and hopefully cathartic. We finally get to see two of Caroline and Dina’s other sisters, Cookie and Frannie. The two of them and Caroline are talking about Albie and his learning disability giving him trouble with law school.

Teresa and Jacqueline are meeting Kim D for a meal. She’s apparently having issues with Danielle too. Teresa straight up asks her if she goes back and talks about Teresa and Jacqueline to Danielle behind their backs.

Kim D’s planning a fashion show for her store Posche, but warns them that Danielle might be there as well. Kim D bounces and then Jacqueline says she doesn’t want really want to be in the same room with Danielle because it will be problematic, Teresa doesn’t care.

Danielle goes to Kim D’s store to talk to her about Jacqueline and Teresa going to this fashion show too. She pops in and sees a woman named Donna sitting there, who was on the phone with a customer. Danielle asks if Kim’s in, Donna says no, but she’ll be right in. Danielle’s daughter calls her and Danielle says the woman was very rude. She then pops her head back into the store and asks her to have Kim call her when she gets in and then darts out of the store. The problem is that Donna doesn’t know who she is and Danielle leaves so quickly that she doesn’t get her name, yet, of course, Danielle bitches about the woman being rude, then she flips the bird and it doesn’t get blurred out!

Kim was paying the water bill and calls Danielle back, who says she’s talking bullshit. Then blames her and Donna for being rude. It’s all bullshit. She’s a nut.

“Kim D has absolutely played me for the last time.” – Danielle. She comes back in like a crazy person complaining about Donna and Kim and saying it’s all this crazy stuff, like she’s not going to shop there anymore. She blames Kim for her thinking her employee was rude, as if Kim controls Donna like an automoton.

You’re not friends! You buy shit from her! You’ve also said you don’t have that much money, so she won’t miss you too much! GAH!!! This woman needs to be institutionalized.

Aww, Caroline’s getting empty nest. Her husband recommends she goes and gets a job. He then asks if she wants a baby. He’s hilarious. I could really watch a show just about them. She wants her husband to retire, he doesn’t seem too interested.

Now Ashley’s going to Kim D’s store and Kim asks if she wants to model in the show. She of course says yes. Weird, she’s wearing a Tony Romo jersey.

The two blonde girls who work in Kim D’s store are really annoying.

Of course, without saying it, Ashley’s very pleased with the fact that Danielle’s legit model daughter wasn’t asked to walk.

Jacqueline and Teresa are working out to lose the baby weight, but just end up drinking wine. Teresa calls camel toe “the screaming cat.”

Kim D calls Danielle up to clear the air and Danielle talks about rebuilding their relationship. “Kim D has no idea what kind of crazy she’s invited to her party.” – Danielle. Haha, I don’t think she was talking about herself, but it’s pretty telling. She thinks no one will try and hurt her in her city (which is where the party is).

Jacqueline has Teresa and Caroline over to talk about the fashion show. Caroline doesn’t like the idea whatsoever. Jacqueline didn’t want to go to the show, but after Ashley got roped in, she figures she needs to go.

Kim G needs to double check her age and start wearing appropriate clothing. Of course the day of the show, Danielle’s extra paranoid. Haha, Kim G tells her to zip her lip about it. Hilarious.

I’m starting to get the impression that Ashley’s becoming a bit of a spotlight seeker.

Haha, of course, Danielle brought a different body guard this time, but not Danny. His name’s Dennis and he looks like Johnny Depp in Donnie Brasco.

Here comes Danielle and Kim G, this should be good. I don’t like Kim D, she seems to be playing both sides too much. Making toasts for Danielle to be normal but also trying to salvage their relationship (or at least keep a customer). It’s kinda gross.

Huh, Danielle and Kim G aren’t at Kim D’s table, but Jacqueline and Teresa are. She’s complaining that Jacqueline and Teresa were trying to get at her by going to this event and that they planned it so she could only look at Kim D’s table. Oi.

Caroline’s on a date with her husband Albert. He’s convinced that his daughter Lauren will be the first to pop out kids. He doesn’t seem to get her going through empty nest and still says he’s not going to retire. She wants him to at least take more time off.

As the show starts, Danielle refuses to clap. She then makes a point to say to someone sitting next to her that she’s going to PRETEND to be on the phone. Kim G tries to talk her back into normal person land. PARIS HILTON DID NOT TEACH YOU TO ACT LIKE YOU WERE ON THE PHONE?! WHY ARE YOU STILL THERE IF YOU’RE SO UPSET, JUST LEAVE.

Ashley does a pretty good job, then Danielle calls her a coke whore. Danielle continues to talk shit about everything having to do with the show.

Meanwhile, Jacqueline and Teresa are clapping and supporting this woman they don’t even really know.

All the women at Danielle’s table are acting really down in the dumps, probably because Danielle’s been annoying the whole time.

Haha, now Ashley’s staring at Danielle. Danielle calls it teenage shit, yet she’s doing the exact same thing. Then she days Jacqueline does the same thing and does a stupid golf clap.

Danielle thinks she needs her whole table to go to the bathroom. Uh oh, Teresa and Ashley are missing. Haha, Teresa’s waiting out in the lobby to “say hello” to Danielle. It’s funny because they’re walking out right behind Teresa. Teresa says she wants to say “Hi,” that it’s been too long and she doesn’t want weirdness there.

Jesus, my pulse it up, waiting for this confrontation and the bulk of it won’t be until next week.

Teresa tries to be an adult for a second, then starts giving her shit. “We’re not gonna talk? You’re running away?” It’s not the best reaction and Danielle acts all timid. Teresa’s just trying to have a normal conversation, but of course Danielle’s being weird.

Whoop, here it goes. Teresa says that Danielle got her to the point where she was calling her a whore and flipping tables. It goes downhill very quickly into name calling.

Holy shit, you guys, next week looks CRAZZZZY! Hair pulling! Plates crashing! Charges wanting to be pressed! Cops! Wanting to go home!

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