Jersey Housewives “Staub Wounds” and Watch What Happens Live with Danielle

Here we go with another dose of drama on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Now that we’ve had the climax of the season (the big fight with Teresa), where will we go? Unfortunately, it’ll most likely revolve around Danielle and her craziness, which is too bad because there’s more interesting shit going on in their lives I would imagine than this crazy broad. Hit it for the full live blog. We’re starting off in Teresa and Joe’s house. They’ve got to leave for somewhere and Teresa’s doing the girls’ hair. Ah, Joe’s taking them to karate class. This should be hilarious.

Ohh, it’s Tai Kwan Do, not karate. Haha, Joe’s cheering the two younger ones as they gang up on the oldest. They look like little dolls!

THIS is the kind of stuff that makes the show actually fun, not Danielle meeting up with Danny and some fighters. Great. She brought her daughters too.
Danny looks like he’s enjoying the whole thing a little too much.

Oh Danny, you’re so clever! One of the targets is Jacqueline, the other is Teresa! Later Danielle refers to each of her fists as one of the women which makes no sense.

So, yes, Danielle is doing this so she can literally fight these women. That should end well. “I’m not gonna run again and I’ll tell you something right now, I might not win, but they’ll know they were in a fight.” – Danielle

I feel like teaching Danielle how to fight is like a bartender serving someone too much and them getting in an accident.

Danielle’s sitting there threatening them! YOU DON’T NEED TO WATCH YOUR BACK YOU CRAZY PERSON!

Gah, why is Jacqueline going over to Kim G’s house? Don’t you get it yet? She just wants to be on the TeeVee.

Jacqueline says Teresa only gets mad around Danielle, I doubt that. Kim G says Teresa needs to learn how to keep her cool, I agree.

Kim G tells Jacqueline that Ashley definitely pulled the hair and handed it to her.

Kim G is so obvious about wanting to get all the dirt. There’s no pretense of friendship, just info gathering.

Now it’s some nice family time with Caroline, her husband and her kids. Albie’s having a tough time waiting to see what’s happening with his law school.
Teresa goes to Posche to talk with Kim D, she apologizes for the trouble. Kim D says it’s not a problem.
Sorry Teresa, Danielle DID get a rise out of you when she said your house was being foreclosed on.

Kim G comes into the store, which catches Teresa off guard. She’s wearing a knit hat that is way too young for her.

Kim G’s giving Teresa shit for the whole thing. At least someone’s calling her out for her bad behavior. Of COURSE Kim G is playing both sides. Ugh.
“The only thing I regret from that night is pushing Kim G because she’s an older woman and I do respect the elderly.” – Teresa HAHAHA

Now Ashley’s hanging out with her boyfriend. She really is just annoyingly naive and arrogant. Danielle’s obsessed with you because you keep prodding and poking her, dummy!

Ashley is as obsessed with Danielle as Danielle is with the rest of them. That’s kind of scary.

Joe’s opening a pizzeria? Huh.
Jesus, Teresa won’t let up about the house not being foreclosed on. WE GET IT.

The pizzeria has apartments above them. Teresa says there’s no way they’d move in there. She makes a point of telling the viewers Joe was joking when he mentioned it on the show.

Danny awkwardly compliments Danielle on her body. Gross.

The silent mook friend is there too. He makes great facial expressions.
Wait wait wait, when did Ashley say she loved you Danielle? She’s saying that Ashley just wants to fit in with the Manzo family (I don’t know what the surname is for the women).

Yeah Danielle, “lights attract lights” just like you and Danny. A regular pair of angels.

Haha, Danielle is basically saying she wants to be left alone by them, which is exactly what Dina tried to say to her, but she stormed out and wouldn’t listen.

I think Danielle just called “karma” “coma.”

STOP BLAMING JACQUELINE FOR HER DAUGHTER’S MISTAKES! That shit drive me crazy.

Hey, Albie got his letter and can apply to other schools! Good for him. His school sounded kind of douchey.

Nice try Albert, Caroline WILL be upset if Albie has to go out of state. Albert gets a little harsh about it with her, though. Haha, Albert asks that if he does go away to go somewhere fun. Albie says he doesn’t want to go to Alaska. This family could easily handle their own show!

They kind of spoiled the show a little bit by running an ad with Ashley talking about Danielle pressing charges. I guess it’s part of the real world, so people can already know what happened between them, but I avoid that kinda stuff.

Haha, Teresa and Joe are making a pizza with the girls at the pizzeria. I fear they’re trying to set them up for their own show. I don’t think I could stand that. Honestly, though, I could see Bravo splitting the families up for future seasons. Caroline gets her own show. Maybe Teresa and Jacqueline get one together. God forbid Danielle gets her own.
So Danielle’s meeting with an attorney outside the courthouse with Kim G standing there and the woman who said something like “this is bullshit” last episode.
The three women there are trying to corroborate the story, but I feel like it’s bullshit.  I’m pretty sure Danielle’s lying too. Danielle says she heard someone threaten her life, the women say they just heard name calling.

Jesus, there’s a video tape of the entire thing, Danielle, if you’re lying it will be incredibly obvious.

It’s kind of funny that any time Caroline meets with any of the other women it’s at her own house or out at a meal. Jacqueline’s over at her house to talk about what might be happening with Ashley and Danielle. Ashley’s on her way over.

Much as I hate to defend her, Danielle doesn’t deserve worse treatment because she’s a convicted felon. THIS IS A DEMOCRACY DAMMIT, once you pay for your crime, you should be allowed back into society (assuming you’re not a pedo, those people need to be watched due to their psychological problems). That’s the end of my political rant for today.

I don’t think Ashley really thought her mom had been assaulted.

Ashley thinks the whole thing is a big joke. She really is just ridiculously dumb. I think Caroline wants to beat the shit out of Ashley, but with the best intentions.
YES! Caroline says that Ashley fell right into Danielle’s trap. She’s the only smart one cause she separated herself from the craziness.

The only thing I disagree with Caroline on is that it’s low of Danielle to “go after the kids.” She’s going after the person who assaulted her.

In fact, the lawyer says it’s the state of New Jersey against Ashley. Yeesh. So, this is a criminal charge at this point. POTENTIAL SPOILER The missus told me that Danielle wanted to press civil charges against Ashley, but it’s against the Bravo contracts.

“I didn’t put us here.” – Danielle. Well, you definitely had something to do with it. Don’t act like you give a shit about Ashley growing up into what you used to be.

Kim G standing there supporting Danielle is just nuts. Did she really think she could play both sides and not get caught? Ever? It looks like her spot’s about to get blown up in a second anyway.

Wow, Kim G always looks ridiculous right now. She goes over to Jacqueline’s house and brings in the newspaper which has a picture of her, the two other women and Danielle on the cover about pressing charges.

Kim G’s trying to give Jacqueline shit. Kim G’s trying to defend herself. HOW CAN YOU DEFEND YOURSELF IN FRONT OF THE MOTHER OF THE GIRL YOU JUST HELPED HAVE CHARGES BROUGHT UP ON. (I’m surprised that made grammatical sense on the first try.)

Kim, you’re not caught in the middle, you’ve firmly placed yourself in the middle and now you’re dealing with it.

Kick that bitch out of your house, Jacqueline. STOP BEING SO NICE!

Gah, now Danielle’s going to be on Watch What Happens along with Jeff Lewis, my fave!

Ugh, she’s so smug and superior. I think Jeff hates sitting next to her. Jeff just said Andy looked like Willy Wonka AND a pedophile last week.

Jeff says that charges should be pressed against Ashley. I agree. She needs to realize what she’s been doing. Plus it’s, you know, the LAW.

I LOVE JENNY!

When asked about Kim G, Danielle once again says “Kim who?” just like she did last time she was on the show. She’s also playing coy about the whole being a lesbian thing. How original. Yawn, put someone else on this show Andy!

Andy and Jeff want to see the bald spot. Danielle says it grew back.

Ugh, the voice she puts on while talking on this show is ridiculous. Now she’s saying she was being chased by three women. Who’s the third?

Oh Jeff, don’t say you sympathize with her! If she was on your show, you’d give her shit non stop.

Haha, a caller asks if Danielle has inside info about Teresa’s financial status. She says she does but doesn’t think bringing it up would be appropriate. Doubtful.

I can’t wait for Flipping Out to come back. That show got me through some rough times after I got laid off last year.

Danielle says she’s not a victim, she’s villain, which is her character. She says she’s being portrayed that way. Haha, she says it doesn’t matter to her. Doubtful.

Danielle just asked if Jeff would decorate her house. Can she really afford that?

Oh gross, Danielle just asked if Andy wants her to dance on a table. Andy says the glass table won’t work, but Jeff tells her to. That would have been awesome. People in the studio, please stop cheering her on. YES, GO TO BREAK! NOW!!!!!!

Haha, Jeff asks how many calls the police get regarding Danielle on a daily basis. Of course she dodges it.

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