Jersey Housewives “Country Clubbed”

Okay, so after a pretty crazy cliffhanger two weeks ago and a rerun last Monday. Damn, they’re jumping right back in. Picking right up where the last episode stopped, the arguing escalates intensely.

“Don’t forget girl, I live in Patterson. Did you forget?” – Teresa

Whoa, Danielle drops some stuff about Teresa’s house being in foreclosure. This seems to piss her off more than anything else.

Kim G tries to muscle Teresa to a chair, but she keeps going after Danielle who starts freaking out and running away. Jacqueline jumps in hurling insults at Danielle.

While Danielle’s fleeing, her heel breaks, her bodyguard tries to get her out to Kim G’s car. Danielle’s sobbing like crazy in her car.

Of course, Ashley gets involved and pulls Danielle’s hair.

Kim G has her bodyguard/driver get Danielle to the car.

After Danielle gets to the car Teresa walks to the car saying she’s going to apologize. She looks like a slasher, standing in front of the car saying they’ll have to run her over if she wants to leave.

Jacqueline’s yelling at Ashley to go home and Ashley says she’s choosing Danielle over her daughter.

Danielle calls 911, telling them she wants them arrested.

Jacqueline’s still standing outside the car. Kim G just needs to go inside and get her stuff. Inside Teresa’s talking to Kim D and Kim G tries to go in and play both sides again.

Kim D’s telling Kim G she needs to choose sides.

Ashley’s SO stupid. She’s running around telling everyone she pulled Danielle’s weave. All the other women are like “what the hell did you do that for?” Her excuse is that she thought Danielle attacked her mom. Seems questionable to me.

Back outside, Danielle’s talking to the police while Jacqueline is standing there to make sure it doesn’t get too much crazier.

It’s hilarious that Danielle gives the full names of not only herself to the cops, but also the other women involved as if the 911 operator gives a shit/needs to know/has any idea who these lunatics are.

Geez, the cops sent four cars. This should be interesting. This was an intense 12 minutes.

After the break, the cops ask Jacqueline to come over and Danielle FREAKS OUT.

Danielle, if you wanted to go home so badly, why didn’t you go home instead of making a huge scene and calling the cops? Call them later.

The cops are talking to Ashley about the hair pulling incident. “Technically, I didn’t grab her hair, I pulled her extensions.” Haha, oh Ashley, that doesn’t make it better in the eyes of the law.

Teresa’s trying to play dumb with the cop and not giving him the information he needs for a basic report.

Oi, ladies, saying that Danielle causes drama isn’t really an excuse for assault, even if she is a nut job.

Interesting, Jacqueline says that the police are used to Danielle’s drama which is why they let Ashley go. I agree with her that Danielle will probably press charges.

AHHH. They’re bouncing between Jacqueline and Teresa explaining what happened to Caroline and Danielle telling Danny. This is hard enough to keep track of!

“When she said ‘honey’ I heard ‘Honey, I’m gonna f*cking kill you.'” Danielle

Teresa’s really enjoying telling Caroline what happened, but, like, in a proud way.

Danielle’s convinced that Teresa wants to hurt or kill her. “I don’t take that lightly.” No shit.

It doesn’t look like handfuls of hair were pulled out. From the camera angle. Just saying.

Caroline’s right, Danielle got exactly what she wanted, a big confrontation where Teresa, Jacqueline and Ashley look like the bad guys and it just fuels her crazy fire.

Albie’s heading to a lawyer to see if he can get back into law school. He says when he was dismissed it means that he can’t apply to other law schools for two years, so he wants to get things rolling again. The lawyer says the school didn’t do their due diligence, basically, and she wants to send a letter to see if he can get written permission to apply elsewhere.

Okay, here’s my piece. Danielle is way too paranoid, but Jacqueline and especially Teresa and Ashley really screwed up by giving her more to complain about and use to armor herself in craziness. She absolutely should not have been assaulted. That’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed.

Danielle talked to her energist, who wants to call Jacqueline.

Now Teresa’s trying to tell Joe (her husband) what happened. I get the feeling Joe knows where this is going, but I don’t think he particularly cares, except for the foreclosure comment.

“I never in a million years would ever lay a finger on her or even punch her.” – Teresa.

Joe apparently does thing it’s funny. He just zooms in on the idea that one of the bodyguards tried to stop her.

Now we get to see Danielle’s energist talking to Jacqueline. The energist claims to feel energy over the phone which is pretty impressive. She’s trying to clear the air, but the energist doesn’t really listen to Jacqueline’s problems with her. Haha, but Jacqueline agrees to let her energy be cleared while on the phone. She’s just playing games on her iPhone though and saying bullshit answers. The energist keeps asking if she can remove her bad energy. This is amazing. Haha at the end Jacqueline says “Can you work on her a little harder.”

Oi, Teresa can’t pronounce cleavage. Joe makes me laugh. I think I want to hang out with him, but he also kind of scares me.

Albie talks to his parents about what the lawyer said.

Now Kim G and Danielle are eating together and Danielle’s still complaining about the hair pulling. It really does sound like Danielle’s going to press charges against Ashley under the auspices of helping her not go down a spiral that Danielle went down when she was younger and also protecting herself. Honestly, it’s probably the best course of action, because Ashley seems a little crazy too.

Kim G is a friggin’ backstabber. When Danielle came in she said something like “you gotta do what you gotta do” in reference to pressing charges.

Jacqueline’s talking to Ashley and Ashley keeps being a stupid teenager saying that her mom’s taking Danielle’s side. She’s really REALLY dumb. “I can do whatever I want to her.” – Ashley. Ugh. Yet another stupid rich girl. “That’s right, I’m a terrible daughter.” This dummy doesn’t realize that she is 18 and that means if it does go to court someone has to pay for it.

Chris (Jacqueline’s husband) has a pretty calm head about this whole thing. It has to be infuriating to deal with someone who’s this stupid.

Right after the commercial, Chris tells her she needs to shut her mouth or get out of the house. Basically, if she thinks she’s so smart and doesn’t think about the consequences, she needs to leave the house. Also, that she’s making a crazy person crazier. “Your life is becoming her.” Good point Chris. He says if she communicates with Danielle once more, she’s out and she’s on her own.

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