Wow. Well, this was certainly an intense episode of Real World, but hopefully things will calm down after this. I’m trying to decide if I should spoil what happens at the end or make you read the live blog. The episode is pretty much split between Ryan being an even more annoying uber-douche with his equally awful brother and cousin (referred to as Brother and Cousin, which is stupid, but was easy enough to take notes of) and Preston deciding if he’s ready to really date a dude named Marty. I’ve decided not to spoil it, so read (or scroll) on!10:00pm – The episode opens with a recap of everyone but Sahar talking shit about Ryan. He does suck. I hope he goes home today.
10:01pm – The roommates minus Ryan are going to a charity golf event. Haha, Preston really dressed for the part. This is like a fun montage before things get inevitably crazy later. Eric comments on how much more fun they have together when Ryan’s not around.
10:03pm – It’s clean up time around the house and, as you might expect, Ryan just leaves and gets food. He had actually made plans with Eric to go eat, but then just left without Eric. Now everyone’s just sitting around complaining about Ryan. McKenzie compares him to a mosquito bite. He’s little and annoying but won’t ruin your day. Knight jokes that he’s going to go pee on Ryan’s toothbrush, they’re all laughing and then quiet down as Ryan enters.
10:05pm – Ryan comes back and Eric asks him what’s up about going to eat and Ryan just laughs. Eric seems extra pissed about it.
McKenzie wants everyone to sit down with Ryan and talk to him about his weirdness. Sahar says that won’t go well. She’s the only one who knows about his supposed severe OCD.
10:06pm – Preston tries to tell Knight and Ryan that they’re having a house meeting, but Ryan says he won’t do it, thinking they’re all going to bitch him out. Eric pulls him aside to try to talk to him. Ryan just acts like he does all this stuff to help around the house and never does anything wrong. He’s a douche. Eric thinks Ryan gets it, I don’t.
Ryan basically says he doesn’t respect anyone in the house and doesn’t want to talk to them. But, you’re a roommate dude, you’re not just living on your own.
10:08pm – AHHH. Now Ryan’s on the phone telling someone how awesome he is for leaving while everyone else was cleaning, laughing like a maniacal child.
10:14pm – Hey look, the roommates go to a Subway and then to a park. They’re all wondering about what Ryan’s brother will be like and hoping they’re not too much alike. It appears as though they will be by Ryan’s conversation with them.
10:15pm – Sahar and Eric made friends with a pair of gay guys who come over to the house hang out. I think Preston has a thing for Marty (I missed the other guy’s name).
10:16pm – The next day Preston meets up with Marty for ice cream. Preston says he’s more comfortable around him. He says he usually objectifies men as trinkets he wants to play with, but also that he wants to see more of Marty. They’re a very cute couple.
10:17pm – Now Ryan’s Brother and Cousin show up, they’re just called Brother and Cousin. Ugh. And yes, they’re huge douchebags.
10:18pm – Out at a bar, Knight asks Brother if something’s up with Ryan because of the day when he was punching the window. He seems genuinely concerned and Brother seems to take it like that, but doesn’t say anything of substance to Ryan.
10:19pm – Now Ryan’s awkwardly hitting on a girl named Ashley. Meanwhile Eric’s talking up this girl named Michelle. I can’t believe I’m actually catching the names. Ooh, Eric takes Michelle back to the house and she’s sleeping over.
Whoa, Michelle’s lying in Eric’s bed then Ryan jumps on the bed and starts asking her for Ashley’s number, as Eric says berating her because Ryan thinks she has the number in her phone. Michelle’s so freaked out she actually leaves. Total effing cockblock. Eric’s pissed.
10:21pm – The next morning, Brother’s in bed with Ryan and then Cousin jumps in. They’re all giggling like asses, farting and being 8-year-old. Eric’s not too happy sharing a room with these twats.
Ugh, It’s Ryan’s birthday. He goes down to Bourbon Street with Brother and Cousin. It’s like asshats on parade. They do this weird WWF/Macho Man Randy Savage voice when they talk to each other that makes everything worse.
10:22pm – Now they’re back at the house. Oh Jesus, they left the car while they were out. Ryan calls out, asking where the car is as if he doesn’t know and THEN blames it on Knight.
10:23pm – It’s night and they still don’t know where the car is. Ryan doesn’t care, he’s being a jackass and says if it gets towed, they’ll just go carless. I want to punch this kid. Hard and a lot.
10:26pm – Knight sits in between Preston and Marty while they’re on the couch. Haha, then they act like they’re going to kiss him. It’s nice to see someone actually becoming a more rounded person on the show. Oh, there you go, Marty and Preston seem to be having sex (in their room, not with Knight still there on the couch).
It’s weird seeing this nice, new relationship and also all the nonsense with Ryan and his lame family members.
10:27pm – Eric’s talking with Preston about going to find the car. Preston makes the good point of questioning why you’d drive when you know you’re just going to get drunk and get a taxi back.Ryan and Brother swear it’s near the beach and parallel to Bourbon Street. Seems like a lost cause. Eric says Ryan shouldn’t have car privileges anymore. He also says he gets really pissed and just snaps sometimes.
10:29pm – They finally find the car after searching for two hours. It was actually perpendicular to Bourbon Street, not parallel, then Eric gives a lesson on the difference between the two. The car got a ticket. Meanwhile, back at the house, Ryan, Cousin and Brother were just laughing about it. Ryan doesn’t say thanks or sorry for leaving the car.
10:30pm – “Personally, I think Ryan sucks at life.” – Jemmye. True dat.
Ashlee comments that Eric’s going to explode because he’s just been taking everything in. I’m guessing he’s also pissed for trying to help the kid and getting screwed over and disregarded.
Preston’s friend Allie from Boston comes for a visit and she’s all surprised that he’s smitten.
10:31pm – Ryan, Cousin and Brother are out drinking. Ryan tells the camera that the roommates want him to be annoying and crazy, so he might as well be. At 2:01AM he’s sitting outside ringing the doorbell, then climbs the gate and gets in (it’s weird that he knows how to do this and that it’s even possible) and starts screaming through the house, asking why no one answered the door. Eric starts yelling at him. Ryan’s bitching about having to wait for 10 minutes and Eric comes back, telling him he had to walk around for 2 hours to find the car. Ryan keeps saying Eric has no reason to be mad at him. Eric brings up the cockblock. Damn, a lot went on in a few minutes.
10:33pm – Eric’s all up in Ryan’s face. “Don’t tell me you’re going to beat my ass when you know who I am.” – Ryan. What the hell does that even mean?
“You’re nothing to me and equal to everyone else, which is nothing.” – Ryan to Eric. I wish Eric would have hit him.
10:36pm – Knight and Sahar ask Eric what happened while they’re at the mission and he explains. Even Sahar says Ryan’s been extra annoying lately.
Is it possible to vote someone out of the house even if they aren’t violent? I guess you could make a case for emotional terrorism.
Looks like they’re out at another non-Ryan dinner and having fun. Marty and Allie are there too. Swap one of them out for Ryan.
10:37pm – Preston’s worried that he might not be able to commit to Marty. He doesn’t want to put labels on it because he’s worried, in general, that people won’t stick around. Allie says it’s because he’s never let anyone stick around. Allie’s got a really good head on her shoulders and knows how to cut throw a mountain of bullshit. She says he’s testing the world in basically a self-fulfilling prophecy that keeps pushing people away.
10:42pm – More fun scenes with Marty and Preston hanging out and Preston saying he wants to be with him. Later that night, they go back to the house and Preston says that Marty is officially his boyfriend. Haha, Ashlee goes and gets the recorder and interviews him. It’s good stuff.
That’s a really nice recorder they have.
10:43pm – Ashlee and Sahar are in the car talking. Sahar mentions something about Ryan having issues that he needs to work out at home, basically saying he needs to leave.
10:44pm – All the roommates have to go to a prescription drug class that evening. Ryan says how stupid he thinks it is to Brother ad Cousin. Of course, Ryan is late and shows up with beer. He’s so cocky and thinks he’s so crazy and wild. The meeting does start with some really lame 3rd grade true and false question. Ryan’s playing tic tac toe wtith himself and losing, Jemmye points out.
10:46pm – Ryan looks like a junkie at this meeting, crouching down, rocking back and forth. On the way back in a van, Eric asks about having a house meting. Ryan says he’s not doing it. Back at he house Ryan says doesn’t want to talk to the roommates. McKenzie calls down that he’s not coming downstairs and that they’ll have to come upstairs to talk to him. Eric tells Ryan he’s not leaving the house without talking to them. I bet he will.
My blood is boiling. I’ve always hated people like Ryan. They think they’re so clever, independent and nonconformist by acting out, but it just comes off as childish bullshit. A simple fact of life is that no one lives in a bubble, which is kind of what Real World has been demonstrating for years. Even if you’re a loner, you’ve got family, friends, roommates, colleagues and acquaintances who have to deal with you. Being an asshole to all those people doesn’t make you better than them. He also seems to be ignoring his own role in the chaos he causes around him. Even with all that, I still think he might be putting on an act or really messed up on drugs. I hope it’s that and that people like him don’t really exist. I think I’d be disappointed by either answer though.
10:51pm – Back to the show, the other roommates are saying they don’t want Ryan around. Ryan says he goes out and comes home and has no effect on anyone else. Eric’s trying to be very calm and cool while talking to Ryan, but Ryan’s just yelling. Ryan asks why no one had a meeting when Preston peed on his toothbrush and Sahar (who entered the room) says it’s because Ryan wiped Preston’s cigarettes on his ass. Ryan says that never happened. The editors show it happening. Then Sahar says that Ryan admitted it to her and Ryan says it was Knight’s big mouth who said something about that.
Meanwhile, Knight’s coming up the stairs and hears this. He seems a little drunk or maybe just really angry. He bursts into the room, saying he’ll kick Ryan’s ass, but alas, that doesn’t happen. There’s not even a stare down as Knight gets pushed out f the room.
At this point everyone’s just saying they want Ryan to move out because he won’t change. Preston calls up that he should pack his stuff and leave. Ryan yells down, saying he’ll beat Preston’s ass (note he didn’t try to fight the much bigger and stronger Knight).
Ryan comes down the stairs and takes his shirt off, challenging Preston to come outside and fight him. Preston says he’s not going to do some playground nonsense. While Ryan walks out the door, Sahar runs behind him and locks him out of the house. Ah snap.
10:57pm – Ryan climbs the fence. Inside, everyone votes him out of the house. Ryan sneaks back into the house like he did before and goes upstairs. He’s sniffling and possibly feeling human emotions. Now the question is if he’s going to blame things on his OCD to try and stay in the house.
Ryan goes into the phone room and asks Brother to come to the house because he’s going home and then starts packing his stuff. Brother comes into a really awkward situation, but doesn’t seem to mind. He kind of tries to talk Ryan out of it, but not really, asking if it’s Ryan’s decision. He, of course, says that it is and that he’s been thinking about leaving for a long time. Bullshit.
10:59pm – Knight seems bummed out about how Ryan turned out.
Ryan packs his stuff and leaves. He says he came in on top of the world and is leaving annoyed and with enemies.
Good riddance to total trash. I think I’m as relieved as the roommates, though I think I’d be a little worried that he’d still be in town to cause trouble, but that’s because I’ve seen too many horror movies.