Tonight’s episode of Jersey Shore was nothing short of head slapping at times. We see the finale of the fight started at the end of the previous episode between JWOWW and Sammi. Then Sammi acts all tough, at least to the camera while Snooki and JWOWW still can’t understand why Sammi’s upset with them. Angelina continues to be her usual shady self. Vinny and Angelina argue and then, well, you’ll have to see it to believe it (or have seen the commercial). If you’re watching this episode later, here’s a fun drinking game you can play: take a drink every time someone mentions the make of the watch that Angelina received as a gift. You’d think the show was being sponsored by these guys like Real World is by Subway. Oh, and Sammi’s SPOILER back with Ronnie. Seriously, internet, please make a compilation video of these two idiots breaking up and getting back together. 10:01pm – We’re picking up about 10 minutes before the end of the last episode, though condensed down. We see Sammi slug JWOWW in the face and then they get into a hair pulling mess.
Vinny’s trying to tell Ronnie to get JWOWW out of there or something, but Ronnie goes after Vinny. Pauly comes out of nowhere and helps calm them down. Ronnie thinks Vinny caused the fight between JWOWW and Sammi, but Vinny explains to the camera that he was causing trouble between JWOWW and Angelina and Sammi jumped in out of nowhere.
10:03pm – Now, during the shouting match, Snooki’s saying that Angelina wrote the note with them too. Then Ronnie and Snooki are arguing and Ronnie keeps bringing up her ex boyfriend so she shoves him. Snooki says she was just looking out for Sammi because they were best friends. Yeah? Friends just tell each other stuff, they don’t use anonymous notes and then lie about them, chick.
THESE GIRLS ARE CRAZY FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING WHY SAMMI WOULD BE UPSET WITH THEM.
Oh jeez, Mike’s sister is still there. She’s trying to talk with Snooki outside. She won’t straight-up say that Snooki did the right thing which is funny.
Gah, so much is happening. Ronnie makes fun of JWOWW’s boyfriend Tom. JWOWW goes after him, picking something up to throw at Ronnie. Vinny grabs JWOWW so she can’t do it. Then Sammi throws something at JWOWW but hits Vinny. Can’t see what it is, but it looked like it had some weight to it.
10:06pm – Snooki and JWOWW are in their room and just keep telling each other they were trying to help their friend and she didn’t appreciate it.
Weird, Mike’s sister is sitting on his lap.
Sammi’s talking shit to JWOWW/the camera like “How does it feel to have your ass beat by me?” Come on, you didn’t beat her ass.
10:07pm – Ronnie’s apologizing to Vinny, but like Vinny said before, he was calling Angelina on her shit, it had nothing to do with Sammi, she threw herself into the mess.
Gah, Angelina’s talking shit about Vinny to Sammi and then tells Mike’s sister he tried to hook up with Snooki. Remember there’s something between Mike’s sister and Vinny or at least there was.
10:12pm – The next morning Pauly’s commenting on how messy the kitchen is, there’s nails and extensions and lots of food all over the place. Sammi’s saying that fighting JWOWW was her best accomplishment in Miami. Do note, she’s waking up with Ronnie.
JWOWW’s supposed to work with Ronnie and Sammi at the gelato shop, but she calls in because she needs to get her nail fixed (pretty lame excuse not to go to work, no?). Sammi lost three nails in the fight. I’m guessing/hoping fakes.
10:14pm – Mike, Pauly and Vinny head to the beach because it’s nice out. They’re chatting these girls up and one of them has a thing on her lip that’s possibly herpes. Yeesh. They go back to the house.
10:15pm – Back at the house, Ronnie and Sammi come back to the dudes hanging out. Now Mike, Angelina and Vinny have to go to work.
10:16pm – Angelina’s asking Mike about the difference between her in Jersey and Miami. He says she’s doing well this time. Then she says she hates Vinny and that he’s not attractive.
That dude Jose rolls into the gelato shop and gives Angelina a Fossil watch. “The man should be smashed.” – Mike regarding Jose.
10:17pm – Jesus, Sammi’s excited to go on a date with Ronnie. This broad just doesn’t get it. How many times did she say they were done last episode? Fighting with JWOWW doesn’t discount the fact that this dude cheated on you. It’s also annoying because MTV showed that post show thing last week where it seemed pretty clear that these two idiots aren’t together anymore. So we know how this stupid melodrama ends! THAT’S NOT FUN TO WATCH!!!
10:18pm – Sammi asks if Ronnie’s sick of her and he says no. She says she loves him while at dinner. Then she asks if they can smoosh. He says later, as if they were going to have sex at the restaurant.
10:21pm – JWOWW and Snooki are heading out to get some food. Mike and Vinny hop in the hot tub. Vinny asks Sammi if they’re cool. He’s trying to convince her that Angelina’s playing all sides. He says that Angelina at least told Snooki and JWOWW what to write in the note.
10:22pm – Inside, Angelina shows Pauly the watch Jose got her and he says she needs to let Jose hit that.
10:25pm – Everyone but JWOWW and Snooki go out to play pool. Sammi’s saying how much fun she’s having and then dun dun DUH, the other two girls show up.
10:28pm – JWOWW says that she and Snooki just randomly went to play pool there. It gets weird and awkward. Oh, Jose and Angelina were out to dinner and went to meet up there too. Sammi tells Angelina she doesn’t want to talk to her right now, but they’ll have to talk one-on-one soon.
10:29pm – Seeing Mike without a hat on in the morning as his sister leaves is weird.
10:30pm – Sammi confronts Angelina about her involvement in the note, saying she was the source of their information even if she didn’t write it.
Sammi tells the camera she doesn’t completely trust Angelina. Then both Angelina and Sammi talk about how real they are.
10:31pm – Snooki and JWOWW are talking about going to a nude beach. Then Snooki says that she puts “Tan” in the ethnicity section of some job applications.
10:32pm – Things are really tense around the house. Angelina gives Vinny some shit, saying she’s going to wreck his name on Staten Island. Cue the fight.
It’s just some nonsense back and forth. Angelina says that Vinny rides Mike and Pauly’s bandwagon. Mike and Pauly are looking back and forth at the two of them like it’s a tennis match.
10:36pm – Mike and Vinny are talking about how Ronnie keeps screwing Sammi over and she doesn’t care, mentioning that he came out spotless after the note and they’re probably closer now.
10:38m – They’re out at a club and Vinny sees a girl he likes named Ryan and starts chatting her up. She works at Hooters! Angelina and Sammi are just staring at her. Then Angelina says she’s a grenade. NO WAY. That girl is HOT! Even the missus agrees.
Meanwhile, Snooki starts dancing up on this DJ and wants him to get it in. Damn, she’s practically dragging him into the bedroom.
10:39pm – Vinny gets that girl Ryan back to their place and into bed. Snooki’s dude makes himself a snack before getting into bed with her. Haha, JWOWW’s talking about hearing Snooki and Dennis hook up and how it was moans with random questions interspersed as a strange way of getting to know each other.
10:41pm – It’s the next morning and the hook-ups leave. Snooki says they didn’t smoosh. She’s adamant. She says she got what she needed and went to bed. JWOWW’s convinced they smooshed.
10:42pm – That day Vinny’s working with Sam and JWOWW. Expect awkwardness. Sammi’s ridiculous. She asks the camera why JWOWW would even come near her. YOU’RE WORKING IN A SMALL PLACE TOGETHER YOU LUNATIC!
JWOWW’s right, Sammi’s going to look bad in the end.
10:47pm – It’s a getting-ready-to-go-out montage. Jose calls Angelina and tells her to behave. Angelina laughs silently. Sammi asks what kind of woman would allow herself to be told what to do by a guy she just met. Seriously? YOU’RE calling someone out about their relationship?
Sammi says she’s going to do the opposite of behave which will result in some nonsense, surely.
Pauly’s really excited that the cabs are there. REALLY excited.
Snooki and JWOWW are staying in and making drinks. Snooks calls Dennis and asks him to come over. She’s excited to get it in that night.
These broads decided to clean the smoosh room. It looks pretty bad. There’s condom wrappers, underwear and dirty sheets.
10:50pm – Now Snooki’s waiting for the dude–Dennis–to get there, but she couldn’t even remember his name right away. He calls to say she’s meeting up with some friends. JWOWW asks Snooki to ask Dennis if he can bring some tall juice head friends over. JWOWW doesn’t want to hook up, but does want to have fun. I don’t know what that means.
Snooki’s weirded out because Dennis called her “mommy.”
Snooki’s getting all lotioned up for sex.
10:51pm – Dennis shows up with his “hot” friend who is not hot at all. He looks kind of like a serial killer.
10:55pm – Haha, Snooki calls Jose’s friend a “Grenade Grundle Chode.” Ouch. JWOWW walks out, looks at the dude and leaves. Snooki wants to smoosh, so she tells Dennis to have his boy leave. Then they had into the smash room.
10:57pm – We see the other roommates hanging out at a club and having fun. They all hop in a cab and are heading back. GAH. Vinny and Angelina–who hate each other–are making out in the back. They’re all making fun of them, it’s hilarious.
10:58pm – When they get back, Pauly starts hollering through the smoosh room door at Snooki. It’s hilarious.
Pauly goes into his room, Vinny tells him they need some privacy. Angelina acts like it’s not happening. Then it totally does. Or it looks like it does.