Tonight’s episode of Jersey Shore was alright. Anytime you see a dude losing a girl in a club he just tried to have sex with in the bathroom, a menstrual pad put under someone’s pillow and someone tickle their roommate’s foot while they’re trying to hook up with their significant other is a good episode, right? Well, probably not, but whatever, I’m not looking for Shakespeare here. Do note that the much publicized fight between Angelina and Mike is just shouting and they don’t even show the actual slap on camera this episode, which reminds me of the Snooki punch episode: showing it a million times in commercials and then not in the actual episode. In this case, though, I assume they’ll come back and replay a bunch of these scenes next week–wasting my time–and then get into next week’s episode. Eh, what better do I have to do on Thursday? Hit the jump for the full live blog. 10:01pm – We pick back up with Vinny waiting around for Ramona to meet him for their date. The other roommates are all out at various places.
Angelina wants to take Jose out for his birthday, Ronnie and Sammi go out with them.
10:02pm – Angelina once against says that she doesn’t need to tell anyone she’s been seeing for just a few weeks together.
Jose tells Ronnie he thought they were kind of together when the girls go to the bathroom. Jose says he wasn’t hooking up with other girls, yet Angelina was smooshing Vinny.
10:03pm – Sammi tells the camera that Angelina’s her…friend, but that she doesn’t trust her. I think “trust” might actually be involved in the definition of friend.
10:04pm – Pauly gets back to the house with his date and sees Vinny who’s still just sitting there. Then Ronnie, Sammi, Angelina and Jose roll back in.
I love how everyone’s making a big deal that Vinny got a haircut for his date. “He bought flowers and got a haircut!” Don’t these guys get haircuts like every other day?
10:05pm – Ronnie takes the flowers for Ramona, leaves money and hands them to Sammi who doesn’t seem too impressed.
Angelina stays with Jose in the smoosh room. Angelina’s piling up excuses why not to have sex with Jose: time of the month, she’s tired. Mind you, she just banged Vinny a day or two before.
10:06pm – Ouch man, she says “In a minute” to Jose when they’re in bed and then fake sleeps.
10:07pm – The next morning, Angelina says that she had sex with Jose the night before, which is a lie. She thought it would get them off her case, but now everyone just thinks she’s a slut.
Mike thinks Jose came back with her because he thought he’d definitely have sex because she felt bad about banging Vinny. Everyone’s giving her shit which is funny because it’s not even true.
10:08pm – “I’m in Miami, what do you expect?” – Angelina. JWOWW thinks she’s giving the guys a reason to humiliate her.
10:13pm – Pauly, Ronnie and JWOWW are working the gelato shop. The girl Pauly went on a date with walks into the shop to see Pauly.
10:14pm – Pauly tells the camera he really digs this chick and wants to take it slow.
JWOWW calls the house, Angelina picks up. JWOWW asks Angelina to wake Snooki up for her nail appointment.
Angelina didn’t do it, so Pauly walks into her room, picks her up and puts her on the lovesack.
10:16pm – Snooki and JWOWW head to the nail place to get read for JWOWW’s boyfriend’s visit. Then Snooki gets back in bed.
And now we get to see Tom for possibly the first time? JWOWW tells the camera that she feels very giddy seeing Tom again.
10:17pm – Tom randomly looks at JWOWW’s phone book and sees a number she took down that he asked her not to. She says she never called him and he’s all pissed. He walks out of the house and says he’s done.
How long was he even there before storming out?
10:22pm – Tom’s sitting somewhere and JWOWW’s actually talking to him. Look’s like he’s staying. Now Tom’s just laying on the bed. Now they’re picking each others’ noses. Snooki’s sleeping through all this.
I think he put his nose-picking finger in her mouth. They are weird.
10:24pm – Angelina’s friend Gina is visiting and brought a bunch of clothes from Angelina’s mom for her. Now mom calls. I don’t know why this is important enough to show. She randomly starts crying and then tells the camera that she misses home. GROW UP.
10:26pm – For some reason, JWOWW is doing Snooki’s hair and they’re talking about getting hit in the cooter. Snooki ran into a house and thought she broke her vagina bone. It’s almost like Snooki had a contract written up that says she has to have so much airtime per episode and MTV is filling that with her random prattling.
Pauly calls through the house that Gina’s hitting on him. All the guys start singing “T-shirt time.” Haha, it’s awesome.
10:27pm – At the club, Angelina’s dancing with a dude that might have gotten with Snooki. She even knows that he got with Snook. Snooki thinks she loves her sloppy secondses (how do you spell the plural of sloppy seconds?).
10:28pm – A dude in a suit asks Snook what her worst time was and she tells him “Right now.” She’s only got Grenade Grundle Chodedudes coming up to her, she says.
10:29pm – Mike starts working his magic on some Canadian chick. He can’t wait to get home to have sex with her, so he pulls her towards the bathroom. She’s texting on the way, probably Tweeting about getting the Situation in (I’m getting disturbingly familiar with their parlance).
10:31pm – They get in the bathroom, but someone knocks on the door and says only one in at a time. Mike’s going to leave with her, they go back up to where the rest of the roommates are and the girl disappears.
10:32pm – Ugh, Sammi and Ronnie are drunk and talking outside of the house and saying how much they love each other. I promise you MTV, you could completely cut these two out of the rest of the season and all the ones after and no one would care.
10:33pm – Pauly asks Angelina why she didn’t bring anyone home. He asks about her dancing with that dude who got with Snooki. He’s talking so fast it’s hard to understand him.
10:34pm – JWOWW and Tom are hooking up and Snooki starts pulling on their covers and tickling his foot. Snooks is WASTED.
So Snooki goes and sleeps in Vinny’s bed. He comes to bed later and moves her over. They spend the night together, but doesn’t look like anything happened.
10:38pm – It’s the next day and Angelina’s complaining about cleaning. But does she clean? She starts, but then the phone rings and she walks away. Her friend Gina’s gonna come over. NO MORE CLEANING!
“If you don’t tan, you’re pale.” – Mike about GTL. They lost Mike’s clothes at the laundromat. Actually, he apparently picked his clothes up the previous day. Oi.
10:40pm – When they get back some girl left a note and a number for Mike. It’s the girl who he lost at the club, her names Samantha apparently.
Mike thinks it means she wants to bang. ‘Course he does.
10:41pm – Pauly’s bored so he takes the note off the fridge and puts it next to Ronnie’s head in bed. Sammi goes in and laughs at it, but no one blows up.
Vinny and Pauly head to the beach to chill. Angelina and Gina go there too and see the dudes, but she doesn’t say anything to them. Pauly and Vinny are thinking the same thing.
10:42pm – Pauly buries Vinny in the sand. Some girls come by and build sand boobs for him.
10:43pm – At the house, Mike’s stretching and flexing before calling Samantha. He’s all creepy sounding when he calls her, like a light FM midnight DJ.
How awesome would it be if it was some other girl?
10:44pm – Now Mike’s cleaning up and not stopping because a phone call comes through. He just leaves the dishes for Angelina.
10:47pm – Mike’s cleaning and goes into the bathroom where he sees a pad on the floor. He gets JWOWW and Tom to show them how gross it is. He picks it up with the wrapper and then puts it under Angelina’s pillow!
10:48pm – At the beach, Angelina’s hitting on some dude and doesn’t even know his name when she’s talking to the camera.
10:49pm – Mike’s walking with JWOWW and Tom and they run into Pauly and Vinny, so they go to some place and have a drink. Mike tells them what he found and what he did.
“Somebody cleaned.” – Angelina.
10:50pm – Angelina comes back with the dude and her friend. She realizes something’s up with her bed, looks through it and finds the pad. She’s all embarrassed because this dude is new and standing right there. She did say it was her time of the month earlier in the episode.
10:51pm – The gang rolls back into the house. Mike checks under Angelina’s bed to see that she found it. Time for fight night. Also a commercial.
10:55pm – We’re back with a recap in case you’re an idiot. Mike changes his pants, comes out and introduces himself to the dude (whose name is Mike too).
10:56pm – Mike goes and talks to Vinny who says that they need to step up their game.
Mike asks Angelina to do dishes, she says she cleaned all day. They start arguing, it is awkward that it’s in front of her friend and the dude. Mike drops some bombs, saying she hooked up with a bunch of dudes.
Even though MTV has been teasing Angelina slapping Mike, they cut away so you can’t see it until next episode.