Uuuuuuugh. You can probably guess what tonight’s episode of Jersey Shore was all about: Sammi and Ronnie bullshit. This time it’s because JWOWW and Snooki delivered the note they typed up last episode and then spent most of this episode worrying and lying about. Hit the jump for the full live blog. 10:01pm – Snooki and JWOWW head out to a club where they dance with some gay guys. Meanwhile the guys are out clubbing as well at a different place.
10:03pm – Drunken Snooki calls her boyfriend to give him another chance. First he’s pissed that she was dancing with some dudes, then he gets grossed out thinking of dudes making out. Lame. Snooki’s also lame for falling in love with this d-bag. STOP CALLING HIM!
10:05pm – Ronnie, Mike and Pauly head back to the house with two girls. Haha, Mike had also set something up where these other two girls were coming over. It’s like Three’s Company! He’s got two girls on one side of the house (one of which he calls a hippopotamus) and tw girls on the other. Vinny gets brought in to help out.
10:07pm – Vinny says they each need to pick a girl and leave the grenade to fall asleep in one of the beds. It’s hilarious that they all think this is a great plan. It looks like it’s working too! The hippo goes to bed. Mike doesn’t even know his girl’s name. Damn, Mike takes her to the smash room and they do. Sounds like Pauly and Vinny hooked up too (maybe not Vinny, it’s hard to tell).
10:11pm – The next day there’s girls everywhere, but it seemed to work out pretty well.
10:12pm – Mike’s skipping the gym, but he is doing laundry, tanning and getting groceries. He wants Angelina to help clean up while he’s gone because she doesn’t do anything. Snooki asks her to help and she says she doesn’t care and stays on the phone forever. Then she lies and says she cleaned the sink.
10:14pm – Then Angelina explodes and gets in his face. What a nut. Just do your share! “Clean the house, you dirty mess.” – Mike. Then it’s just yelling and swearing back and forth.
JWOWW’s telling Snooki she’ll get over her ex. Then they hug while Snooki cries in the middle of the road.
10:20pm – The guys–Mike, Pauly and Ronnie–are cooking dinner again while Angelina just sits there staring and brewing tension. Mike tries to apologize and she jumps down his throat. Jesus, she’s got to be a terror to live with. He’s a nice genuine dude, who just happens to want to have sex with girls and never talk to them again.
10:22pm – Snooki’s all bummed out at the dinner table. Pauly asks how she’s doing. She says it’s on like Donkey Kong tomorrow. “Watch out Miami.” – Ronnie.
Now Angelina’s cleaning. Sounds like the girls are cooking next Sunday, but none of them seem to know how to cook which is kind of shocking.
10:23pm – Snooki grabbed all the pictures of her ex and heads out to burn them. Everyone stands around while she does it like it’s some kind of religious ceremony. Oi. Is it a bad omen that they didn’t burn all the way?
10:24pm – Snooki’s asking JWOWW if she wants to actually talk to Sammi about Ronnie. JWOWW doesn’t want to talk to her, but does want to deliver the note. Haha, Sammi walks right by while they’re conspiring in the hallway.
These broads are nuts for not just sitting her down and telling her. Like a weirdo, JWOWW runs over and puts it in one of Sammi’s drawers. This is like some 7th grade, younger sister nonsense.
10:29pm – It’s a rainy day and Mike, JWOWW and Snooki have to go to work. Neither JWOWW nor Snooki slept well after delivering the note. Woman-up and just tell her! It’s gonna be a long day at the gelato place.
10:31pm – Back at the house, Sammi finds the letter and reads it. She pulls Vinny aside and asks if its true. He says he really doesn’t know and walks away so she goes and asks Pauly. He straight-up lies and says he didn’t see him kissing two girls (awesome editing back to him actually seeing this).
10:33pm – Snooki says they don’t want to head back home and deal with the drama…that they caused, but at least she admits it…to the camera.
Back at the house when everyone else leaves the breakfast table, Vinny whispers and pantomimes to Ronnie what’s going on with the note.
10:34pm – It’s funny that Ronnie says someone should just man up and tell him they wrote it, but shouldn’t you man up and be honest with your girl? Just saying. Then he says if Mike wrote it, he’s going to kick his ass or something. It’s hard to keep up with all this nonsense.
10:37pm – Ron goes into Sammi’s room and asks what the note is. She hands it to him, he reads it. He knows it’s either Snooki or JWOWW. He just storms out. He says it’s bullshit that someone told her stuff when they weren’t together, but he was still coming home and sleeping in her bed.
He goes into her room and explains what happened. It’s funny that the one thing he says didn’t happen was holding a girl’s hand. Sammi’s pissed and doesn’t want to talk to him. He says he loves her more than anything. He tells the camera he can talk himself out of all this. If you love someone more than anything (including other girls and being a drunken asshat) then you wouldn’t have done those other things.
10:39pm – Ronnie asks Vinny and Angelina about the letter. Angelina puts her huge sunglasses on when she’s talking to Vinny and Pauly about it. Jesus, girl, you’re crazy obvious.
10:40pm – Haha, Ronnie and Sammi both say “Obviously I’m in love with you.” Tards. Ronnie must really not think he was caught making out with tons of girls on camera. IT’S ON TV. Sammi says she’s sick because he got a girl’s number. He keeps saying he didn’t do anything. This is stupid. She says they’re done. We’ll see. He tries to use the “I came home to you” line, like that means anything.
10:45 pm – Pauly says they should G.T.F.: gym, tan and find out who wrote the note.
10:46pm – Now JWOWW–who’s still at work–wants to call the house to talk to Angelina and see what happened. But Sammi answers. Really, this was your fool-proof plan? Sammi asks about the note, JWOWW plays dumb. Sammi keeps asking her to be honest and JWOWW keeps lying. JWOWW says that she was with Sammi as was Nicole during those events. Dude, JWOWW, you’re going to get caught! Now Snooki’s on the phone lying. JWOWW tells Mike about the note and he just laughs.
Oh, also, Sammi’s incredibly stupid for believing these people.
10:48pm – Snooki, JWOWW and Mike come home. Sammi’s in the shower. The girls are freaking out, but Mike just comes in and reads the note, laughing the whole time. Sammi comes out and asks why he’s laughing. Mike says “If it’s on paper, it must be true.” Hilarious.
10:49pm – JWOWW tells her she’ll be a fool if she gets back with Ronnie. JWOWW KEEPS lying about it, now to Sammi’s face. I assume they’re going to blame it on Angelina.
10:50pm – JWOWW says she did her job as a girlfriend, then whispers to Snooki after Sammi walks out that if Sammi goes back to Ronnie she’s a dumbass.
10:51pm – The other guys come back and Mike tries to tell them what happened, but they say they know. Then Ronnie tells the camera that he knows Snooki and JWOWW had a hand in it and he gives them the silent treatment.
10:55pm – Ronnie tries to talk to Sammi, but she tells him she never wants to talk to him again. We’ll see how long this lasts. She says she gets it (“it” being that Ronnie’s not worth all this tomfoolery), but we’ll see. He keeps asking her if she wants it or she doesn’t. I don’t know what he’s referring to. This just means Ronnie’s going to run out and be crazy…which isn’t any kind of different.
10:56pm – Like a mature dude, Ronnie goes out to the phone and calls a girl loud enough for Sam to hear. “I want the Varsity Blues outfit when I get back.” Sammi gets up and confronts him while on the phone, he hangs up. It sounds like he’s had this girl back home.
10:57pm – Ronnie lies down in his bed, then Sammi goes in and starts yelling at him calling him selfish. Then he says she’s been stringing him along. Huh? How. “You and me are not meant to be.” – Sammi.
Jesus, he’s a douche. JUST BE DONE WITH IT FOR REAL! I don’t want to watch this shit anymore.
Next episode: a fight between JWOWW and Sammi where it looks like Sammi takes a swing!