Well, we’ve finally reached the end of the second season of Jersey Shore. It was a weird season, though most of the drama was expected. Ronnie and Sammi sucked the fun out of pretty much every situation (ugh, I’m starting to hate that word). There was all that drama between Sammi and the double headed dunce demon that is Snooki and JWOWW who still both think they were in the right about the stupid note. Angelina sucked, no surprise there. The biggest shocker, really, was seeing how bad of a wingman Mike turned out to be. This episode involved the roommates going to see gators in the Everglades, eating frog lakes, last dates with local girls, a little dancing, a big huge blow up over literally nothing and everyone in this “family” saying their goodbyes. Let’s jump into the live blog, shall we?10:01pm – Cabs are here to take the roommates to the Everglades so they can check out crocs on a fan boat. Crocs don’t live there, alligators do.
Of course, Snooki can’t pronounce crocodiles correctly. Also, they’re gators.
Pauly wants one of those giant fans for his hair.
They see an alligator and Ronnie jumps up on the chair like a little girl seeing a mouse. The gator comes right up to the side of the boat.
10:02pm – “Bugs in the Everglades are like the size of Snooki.” – Mike. Hahaha.
10:03pm – Afterwards they go to a local place and get some authentic food like fried frog legs. Ronnie will NOT try it. JWOWW looks pretty grossed out too. She calls them fly-eating slimy creatures, but I’ve seen the dudes she dances with. Not too different. When did I turn so bitchy?
Jenni doesn’t see the irony in saying that seeing the frogs turned her green.
10:04pm – Mike follows Jenni into the bathroom, knocks on the door and shoves a fried frog in her face. Mike jumps out of the car on the way home to throw up.
10:05pm – Pauly wants to go out one more time with Rocio (this is the first episode I actually saw the proper way to spell her name), Vinny wants to go out with Ramona, so they’ve made individual plans.
10:06pm – Gah! Ramona’s late for their date again! Vinny had to make reservations for this date, but he’s just wearing some T-shirt. Not okay, bro. Gussy that shit up!
10:10pm – The phone rings, it’s Ramona saying she’s almost ready. Pauly’s making fun of him for being nervous.
10:11pm – Vinny says all he wants to do is hang out with Ramona even though she was 45 minutes late. He wants her to know that he doesn’t treat girls like this. I’m not sure what that means.
Pauly meets up with Rocia and they go to their place.
10:12pm – Vinny asks Ramona if she’s ever had a long distance relationship. Both of them say they haven’t. Vinny’s head over heels for this chick, but I’ve got to say that he’s WAY more into it than she is. The missus raises an interesting point: why didn’t she spend the night? Maybe the roomies are all hanging out that night. Maybe the producers told them they had to go home?
10:14pm – Pauly says he didn’t smash Rocio out because she’s not that kind of girl. Remember, this dude was going to sleep with some other girl on last week’s episode.
Ronnie and Sammi are out and Sammi asks Ronnie if he thinks they can get through anything. He says they’ve already been through a lot. Ronnie kind of clams up, which Sammi instantly jumps on for no reason.
10:15pm – Now she’s asking if he gets that she likes being with her boyfriend. I have no idea where this is coming from.
10:20pm – Ronnie tells Sammi they were having a good time and she ruined it. She, of course, doesn’t think it’s her fault at all. He wants her to admit she started this one.
Back at the house, Mike, Pauly and Vinny are waiting around for Sam and Ronnie to show back up.
10:21pm – Sammi and Ronnie are outside the house, still fighting.
Inside, Vinny tells Snooki to go tell them they’re waiting for them.
Now Ronnie wants to go out and drink. JWOWW’s around too, looks like the whole crew is rolling out to the club.
10:22pm – Mike’s confident that he’ll be getting it in tonight. Not with the game he’s been spitting lately.
Everyone’s having a good time except Sammi and Ronnie because she asks why they’re together again. She says she’s sorry, but it sounded like she was saying “I’m sorry that you’re an asshole.”
10:23pm – Vinny’s got two girls up on him who want to have a threesome with him.
“If you have a good girl out there, say no to hoes.” – Vinny.
10:24pm – Vinny doesn’t want to do it, so Mike swoops in and takes the girls into the bathroom. That’s classy. 10:27pm – It’s the second to last day. JWOWW wants to be at the beach, but she’s cleaning out the super gross fridge. There’s food still from when Vinny’s mom visited. That was EPISODES ago!
10:28pm – Snooki asks Sammi if she will help her make tacos. Sammi says no, so Snooki goes back inside. Vinny says he’ll help, but Snooki says it’s girls only.
10:29pm – Mike comes outside where Sammi and Ronnie are still in the hot tub. Mike tells Sammi people are talking shit about her for not doing anything around the house. Like Ronnie says, he’s just stirring the pot.
10:30pm – Sammi goes inside and offers to help Snooki but she’s all bitchy sounding and sarcastic. Snooki ain’t fooled and aks her to just go. Sammi basically tells the camera that, yes, in fact, she is a bitch.
Snooki gets pissed and walks outside to talk with JWOWW.
Jenni says that “friends” is a deep word after Snooki says she used to be friends with Sam, yet she calls all these people family. Seriously?
10:31pm – Once again, at dinner, Pauly’s amazed that they used to not know each other and now they do. Mike says Ronnie deserves some trophies for the first few weeks. Then he’s offering trophies for the person who did the least. He says it’s all in good fun, but it’s completely awkward and weird.
10:35pm – Sweet merciful crap these commercials for Skins are going to give me a seizure. Also, I think it’s funny that MTV has all these commercials about being careful with sex and sexting and then spends a huge chunk of their prime ad time showing half naked teenagers. Way to stay on message.
After the awkward dinner, Snooks and JWOWW do some shots, then the roommates start drinking.
10:36pm – They want to play Superlatives. Most likely to get skin cancer goes to Pauly after he nominates himself.
Most likely to be a follower, Mike says it’s Vinny because last year, he didn’t hang out with Pauly and Mike and now he does. Vinny defends himself. Ronnie tells the camera Mike’s just pissed that Vinny and Pauly become such tight friends. Dead on. Anyway, things get heated because Mike made things awkward.
10:37pm – Oh snap, JWOWW walks up to Mike and told him he’s the fakest. Then she says it’s not coming from her before walking outside. Inside, Mike’s asking who it was and says that JWOWW is the fakest.
10:38pm – Now things are even more awkward. Jenni comes back in and asks what she missed, but they say nothing.
Outside, Snooki tells JWOWW she can’t trust anyone in the house. Now, Snooki tells her that Mike said JWOWW was the fakest and that Vinny and Pauly agreed (which I don’t recall seeing) by shaking their heads in the affirmative.
10:39pm – Jenni pulls Mike into the bedroom and says something about Pauly talking about him. So Mike goes outside and tells Pauly that Pauly said Mike was fake, that he ratted Mike out.
10:40pm – Pauly calls JWOWW out to confront what was going on. JWOWW says Pauly said she was fake, but Pauly wants to know who told her. I don’t understand why JWOWW would would give Mike ammo against Pauly when Mike was the one that brought it up.
This is how I understand the fight. JWOWW told Mike he was fake but that it wasn’t coming from her which meant those were someone else’s thoughts. Jenni goes outside and Mike suggests that Jenni is the fakest one in the house. Snooki tells Jenni that after Mike said this, that Pauly and Vinny shook their heads in the affirmative as if to agree with him. This makes JWOWW mad because she thought she was close with those fellows, so, for some reason, she pulls Mike aside, possibly apologizes to him and tells him that the person that called him fake was Pauly. Mike goes outside and passive aggressively tells Pauly that he was the one who said Mike was fake. This makes Pauly understandably upset, so he calls JWOWW out to explain herself. She says that she heard that Pauly called her fake. Pauly gets very upset with this because he didn’t say it and because he doesn’t like people saying he talked about Mike when he supposedly didn’t. Snooki gets upset because everyone figures that she was the one telling JWOWW things happened that didn’t happen. I have already spent far too much time thinking about this. Moving right along.
10:44pm – Pauly’s shouting like a crazy man. JWOWW’s saying that someone said she was going to get her ass beat and that she was fake. Snooki’s trying to defend herself, but it obviously just comes back to Mike saying she was fake. Snooki says everyone nodded their heads, but Vinny’s saying that’s not the case because they’re friends.
10:45pm – Now Mike’s trying to tell Pauly he thought it was all nonsense, which is ridiculous because he came out and told him right away.
Snooki’s pissed at Jenni for bringing it up, but it’s really Snooki’s fault for making up the head shaking nonsense and telling Jenni. JWOWW’s not exactly know for her cool, level headed responses to adverse situations.
10:46pm – JWOWW thinks she just simply approached them about something that was worrying her instead of stirring the pot like crazy.
Snooki doesn’t care anymore and just wants to pack her gear up.
10:47pm – Vinny tells JWOWW he swears on his mother’s life that he didn’t say anything about her. Snooki then tries to say that she never said that Pauly and Vinny talked about her. Snooki still thinks that she didn’t do anything wrong.
10:48pm – Snooki’s saying it’s all the drama is because of Mike. She’s worried that everyone hates her now.
10:49pm – I’m convinced that JWOWW’s a bit of a lunatic who doesn’t understand how her actions effect people and think that her motives are always pure when it appears that they are not to the regular observer.
10:52pm – Snooki’s sulking outside. Mike comes out and tells her it’s over and fine. Snooki’s all worked up over pretty much nothing, just a blow up.
10:53pm – Mike literally picks her up and puts her down on the couch with everyone. He actually comes off as an okay dude.
10:54pm – Vinny and Snooks get in bed together to cuddle. Not sure if they do all night or not.
The morning of the last day, Mike makes breakfast with champagne.
10:55pm – Packing up montage. Mike says he doesn’t have any regrets. Pauly goes through all the girls’ numbers he got.
Snooki’s bringing pickles with her.
Oh good, Sammi and Ronnie are leaving first. Let’s get this nonsense over with. Sammi thinks her and Ron are good. She really doesn’t get it that he helper her out with the problems that he caused. Oof, apparently Sammi left without saying goodbye to Jenni.
10:56pm – “A crow comes and starts quacking at us. Not quacking, what’s a crow do?” – Snooki. She thinks it’s an omen of death.
10:57pm – Vinny’s out next. It’s just Snooki, JWOWW, Pauly and Mike left.
Snooki says she’s going to have sex with JWOWW for getting her a Slim Jim and a Red Bull. Looks like JWOWW and Snooks are driving as are Mike and Pauly.
10:58pm – Aww, Mike got a little sentimental. Doesn’t make me forget that he was kinda douchey this season.